6 years ago on the 17th, I said Yes to one of the best questions ever. "Will you marry me?" It's been a crazy ride since. A little over a year after that, we started going through infertility. 4 years after that, this happened. It's been exactly 2 years since that day. I've been feeling really depressed thinking about it. It's been really hard the past few weeks. I keep having this feeling that I want to be pregnant. I blame it on hormones and being a woman. ;) I'm trying to remember that it's ok to want that. Even if it will never happen. (Side note: Found out from one of my adoptive mommy friends that only 7% of women who adopt then become pregnant. Everyone just happens to know someone in that 7% so it seems like it's more). I'm trying to remember to continue to allow myself to grieve that I won't get to feel the little kicks on the inside of my tummy. I won't get to read the "Pregnant" on a little white stick. I won't get to have them rub that goop on my tummy and hear the words "It's a..." And it's ok to be sad about it, as long as it doesn't consume me.
I was then going back over old posts and found this one and this one. I am so incredibly blessed. I am so grateful that our infertility led us here. I have an incredible daughter. She is truly my light and my joy. She is my saving grace. I count my blessings every day for her. I'm also blessed with two amazing birth families that love her and love Robby and I. It is so incredible to have so many people who love this one little girl. She is such a miracle and I wouldn't trade any of my experience for anything. She came exactly the way she was supposed to. She is sealed to Robby and I for time and all Eternity. Just as if she had come through birth. I love her as much as if she were my flesh and blood. She is a miracle.