Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Finally feeling like myself

It honestly took about 3 weeks but I'm finally starting to feel normal again. After we found out, I honestly felt a lot like Bella in New Moon. Days were passing without me even noticing. If I didn't have to go to work, I would've been at home in my bed, which is what I did as soon as I got home. After a couple weeks, I finally started to have the fog lifted from my head and my heart. We prayed hard and pondered and planned. I LOVE to plan so that helped a lot! After planning fertility treatments for so long, it was strange to be putting that away and concentrate on something else. Once I did that, there really was no other option than adoption. I honestly can say I am SO excited to adopt. I have been looking at websites, blogs, books, anything I can about adoption. I'm so impressed by adoptive parents and the strength they have to wait for their precious miracle and the some times difficult hoops to jump through to become a parent. I am INSANELY impressed by Birth moms. To not be able to have children has been the hardest thing I have gone through in my life thus far, and I can't even begin to imagine what those wonderful women go through and how much love they have for their children to place them with another family. It's going to be a long process from here but I honestly would not trade it for anything. Robby and I are 100 million times closer. We love each other more, we lean on each other more. When I'm sad, he does everything to cheer me up. When he's sad, I cheer him up. I know that this is what was supposed to happen. Even though some times I wish that one day I would magically become pregnant and 9 easy and fantastic months later, poof a baby is here, I know that's not the way it's going to happen for us. I always thought it was weird when people would say they were happy for their trials but I honestly feel that way. I would probably even go as far to say that this isn't really a trial, but a growing opportunity. I am closer to my husband and especially my Savior. Without Him, I would never have gotten through the past 4 weeks. I'm so grateful that He took my burden on Him and made mine lighter. He has gotten me through this and I know that soon, we will be blessed with our little angel.

9 comments:

Jami said...

Hi Angee!! I found your blog and thought that I would say hi! Hope all is well!

-Jami (Heninger) Hall

McRae Family said...

I totally agree with you! It would be amazing to be able to get pregnant and have a baby, but for some of us, thats not so easy. I have thought about adoption myself and absolutely love the idea. Although I have put off having kids while I am in school I know that one day, I know that one day heavenly father will send me a baby, I have no doubt. If I am unable to carry it, then someone else will do it for me. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you more these last few weeks, I've been so busy but I hope you know that if you ever need someone to talk to you can call. Thanks so much for your testimony and friendship!

Kayla said...

Adoption is wonderful! My parents could not get pregnant and were told they would never be able to. They adopted 1 girl and 2 boys, then after 4 years got pregnant. They went on to have 3 healthy pregnancies and to this day all of us know without a doubt that my adopted brothers and sister were meant to be in our family. We know that if my Mom were able to get pregnant before they came along, they might not have even thought about adoption in the first place. So, it's comforting knowing there are reasons for everything, and there is always hope =)

jennaloha said...

Sorry- this is off-topic, but wondered if you were going to the camp first aid thing tonight, or if leaders need to be there? Lt me know today. I don't have your email so sorry to contact you this way.

Shellee said...

We are SO excited for you two. The adoption process can be hard and trying but the blessings will far outweigh the hard times. We have learned more about our relationship, our faith, and our Savior than we could with any other experience. We'll keep you in our prayers, let us know if there's anything you need.

Adam and Jessica Cooley said...

Good luck with everything! I think adoption is just so special. There are many little children in the world that need a loving home, and you can bring that joy into their lives. I too have so much apprecation for birth mothers and their willingness to bless the lives of others. I know that you will be blessed with a little child of God that needs you, and that was meant to be in your family. You are both so wonderful with kids and would be awesome parents! Let us know what we can do to help!!

Jen said...

I know how you feel about having a plan. It always seems easier when you know what you're doing and YOU finally know! Sometimes that in itself is a great blessing. I have a couple of close friends that have adopted and it's been the greatest thing, both for them and the kids. Adoption is a great thing. One friend has 3 kids from the church's program. Thanks for your testimony as well. It strengthens mine.

Sandy said...

My husband and I were both adopted and I think that it is such a wonderful thing to be able to do. My sister and I were adopted and Brody has 5 sisters and a brother. His mom actually became pregnant once, his baby sister is the result... so don't loose hope, maybe there are other children that need you first, then you can have your own.

Laydee said...

i love your outlook- and hey... if you think nine months was easy, just call me up! honestly though, no matter what you face in the adoption process holding that baby in your arms for the first time will make you forget the time, effort, funds and worry in about 1/2 a sec.!!