The Crazy Adventures of Robby and Angee

1 month

2012-01-04T22:46:00.002-07:00

I can't believe our little Joey is here and already a month old! Wow, I'm bad at blogging... :) He arrived via c-section on December 4th at 9:02 am. He is such a sweet angel and I'm so incredibly happy that I get to be his mommy. I'll try to post more pictures and more of the story later, but for now, sleep is a little more important. This picture is both babies at exactly 1 month with their teddy bears. Joey is definitely on his way to outgrow Grace very quickly. :) I feel so blessed to have 2 little miracles through adoption and hope we can have many many more. :)

Waiting

2011-11-22T08:30:00.002-07:00

One of my least favorite parts of adoption is WAITING! Waiting for the homestudy, waiting to be approved, waiting for an expectant parent to contact you, waiting to be chosen, waiting for the baby to be born, waiting for placement paperwork to be signed, waiting for finalization, and then waiting the full year to start it all again!

Waiting to be chosen is by far my least favorite of all the waiting, but it has definitely been difficult waiting for Joey to be born. Last week, the plan was that an amnio would be done on November 29th and then there was a huge possibility he would be born November 30th. Yesterday, expectant mom (K) called me to tell me her blood pressure and blood sugar had both skyrocketed so she was going to the hospital. They were afraid of a clot in her lung and wanted to do some tests to check her out. Thankfully she does not have a clot, but when they did the amniocentesis to check Joey's lungs, I'm pretty sure they came back as not fully developed. So now they are wanting to keep him in there until 37 weeks (December 5th). So we are back to waiting. This time has given me so much more anxiety. I'm constantly on edge and really dislike this feeling. But it is definitely part of the process.

As a planner, I really hate surprises! I want to KNOW when things will happen so I can prepare for them. But this is just another lesson in trusting that there is a Plan, even if I don't have all the specifics. Joseph Parker will be here soon, and hopefully become a part of our family.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T20:04:00.002-07:00

Love, The Colvins

My mom made our costumes this year. We are Aladdin, Rajah, and Jasmine. Grace went trick or treating for the first time and she wasn't quite sure what to do with it. :) She loved grabbing candy out of the other buckets and throwing them into hers. :) Grace loved her costume and kept pulling it over her face and playing peekaboo. She managed to sign Happy Halloween with my prompting. We went around my parents' neighborhood in Utah and it was chilly, but not too bad. We had a great Halloween!

Chocolate cake

2011-10-27T13:48:00.003-07:00

I found this on another blog too. I sat here sobbing reading it. This is very much how infertility has been. Beautiful analogy.

"Imagine yourself dressed up in your finest clothes. You and your sweet husband are attending a dinner together in one of the nicest restaurants in town. You both have planned, waited and saved for this evening. To say the least, you are very excited! You and your husband arrive and the atmosphere is more than you expected. Everyone around you is having a good time. The chandeliers are sparkling, candles are glowing and sweet soft music is playing in the background. To your pleasant surprise you see others there you know. You are seated with them and in your heart you think there just couldn't be anything better!

The table is just exquisite. Breathtaking really. The people at your table begin to talk to you in jolly conversation. You glance at the menu and you don't even know where to begin! You look over everything slowly and carefully, especially the dessert menu! All of your life you have been hearing about this restaurant's marvellous and divine desserts. Deep in your heart, you have been looking forward to enjoying dessert the most!

Everyone at your table orders their food. For dessert they all order chocolate cake. You think, "Hey that sounds perfect. I'll have chocolate cake too please." The waiter nods in approval and quickly swifts off to put in your order. In the meantime, you are still enjoying the surroundings, the music and the company. You grab your husband's hand and sigh "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

The food comes and everything looks just pleasing. Some of the things you tasted you really love, some of the things you didn't. Either way, you know that dessert is on its way. That thought in and of itself is just exciting! Then you see him, your waiter! Your wonderful, blessed waiter with a silver tray full of plates of chocolate cake! He comes and starts handing out plates to those you know. You look at the cake and to put it simply, it looks just divine. You're even more excited now! The waiter comes to your side and then passes you and your husband. You are shocked and think there must be some mistake. you don't know what to do, but rather than make a fuss you think, "Just wait, I will get my chocolate cake soon too."

Those that have their dessert are going on and on about how amazing the taste is. You smile, you are truly happy for them. Deep down you are anxious and their feelings only feed your curiosity and desire. Then you see the waiter again and think, "Ahhh, here he is." You notice that he starts handing out seconds and thirds to those that have already had their piece of cake. Your husband doesn't notice, he's busy chatting with the fellow next to him! Deep down though you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know something is wrong, something is very, very wrong.

You ask the waiter, "Excuse me please. Where is my chocolate cake that I ordered"? The waiter just replies, "The baker has said that you must wait." He rushes off and not another word is said. Time goes on. You still enjoy the surroundings, the people and the conversations. All the while though, you can't get chocolate cake out of your mind. Time keeps creeping by and soon your husband notices too, "Where is our dessert?" You hold his hand and look into his loving eyes and think, "Even without chocolate cake, life is still good."

Time, however, creeps and it creeps. At moments it seems like it has even stopped. It's getting late and people are noticing you haven't received your dessert yet. Questions start arising and you just don't know how to respond. You look around other tables and notice that people are also getting their third, fourth and fifth servings of dessert. "Why" is all you have to lean upon.

You notice that others have ordered things for dessert besides chocolate cake. There is cherry pie, brownie ice cream sundaes, raspberry cheesecakes and such. They seem just as pleased, if not more pleased with their desserts and you wonder, "Should I order cherry pie too"? You talk to the waiter and he simply says, "I'm sorry ma'am, you just need to be patient and wait."

You are starting to burn inside. Despite all of your best efforts you are beginning to boil. You really want to jump on top of the table and stomp while shouting, "Where is my chocolate cake?" You don't though because you know that will get you no where! Instead you look around and notice that there are some that are refusing their chocolate cake. "It will make me fat" one says. "Ugh. I have enough already" another states. One woman, simply dumps her beautiful chocolate cake onto the floor.

As you look deeper around you, you notice there are a few others that are waiting too. Your heart goes out to them. You smile and wish there was something more you could do. You know their pain and it hurts. It really hurts.

Finally, the waiter comes and he has chocolate cake on that familiar beautiful silver platter...and he has enough for two. One for your husband and one for you! Your so elated with joy that you can't hardly stand it!!! You tell everyone at your table and they are just as happy for you. "We knew it would happen" they say. "You just needed to relax"! Little did they know that deep inside relaxing was the last thing you were feeling! You look at your husband. Tears are in both of your eyes. You carefully take a taste. It's such sweet, sweet perfection. You go to take another and just before you do the waiter comes and gently takes your plates away. "Something is wrong" he says. "Don't worry my dear, the time is soon."

There's confusion. Sadness. Anger. Above all though, you are just deeply and truly heartbroken. Heartbroken to the very core. You don't know what to do. You turn to others for support. They cry with you and too ask why. You take a deep breath and find the strength to go on. You have been given the promise that you will receive dessert. It is just not understood as to when. You decide to put your full trust in the baker. You reach far inside within yourself and find the effort to ask your husband to dance.

He looks at you and smiles..."Yes, I would love to dance with you my dear one." You both get up, leave the table and set off to dance.

As you are dancing, you get your bearings. You again begin to notice your surroundings. The beautiful surroundings that have so magically grabbed your attention in the first place. You remember the music, the sounds, the smell of the sweet flowers. You breathe. That's all you can do. You breathe and slowly begin to enjoy the moment again. Slowly, it all comes back to you. The things you love. Being with the person you love the most. The pains you have just felt are still there. Still vulnerable, but you feel life again. Yes, life is still good.

After quite a few dances, you both decide it's time to sit at your table. People still have their desserts and their chocolate cakes. Your space is still empty. You decide, however, to really focus on those around you. In doing so you find more joy. The desire for dessert is still there- but it's manageable. Time moves on.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, your waiter appears. He has the biggest smile on his face. He is pleased to announce that you and your husband's dessert is finally here!! Your heart wells up with joy, but you're afraid too. You ask the waiter, "Will you take it away"? "No, this one was made especially for you." You smile back, hardly believing that this could be true or real. You look at it and it's not a dessert you have ever seen before. It's then that you realize that the baker has made a dessert with all of your favorite colors and flavors. Careful detail was lovingly taken into every consideration. "How did He know that this is exactly what I wanted"? The waiter just smiles and says, "Because he knows and loves you. If you look, you can see him there."

You look and at the door, through the little round window you see a gentle man with tears in his eyes. He is grinning from ear to ear and looking at you and your husband. You can't hardly see anymore because of all of the happy tears. You whisper a big "Thank You" and in your heart you feel that this simple phrase will never be enough.

You look at the people around you, they too have tears in their eyes. They too are smiling from ear to ear. Everything is so precious and tender now- even more so than when you first arrived here. It's then that you learn that the pains you have felt all along the way... the waiting, the crying, the agony....it's all been a special recipe to make this moment this much more wonderful and sacred.

In your soul you take a deep breath and slowly let out a big sigh of gratitude.

You grab your husband's hand and sigh again, "Yes, life just couldn't get any better."

2011-10-27T13:38:00.002-07:00

I found this on another blog and thought it was a beautiful poem so I wanted to share it. :) We feel so blessed to have our little Gracie through adoption. I'm grateful for her birth mom making the loving choice to place Grace in our family. And we are so blessed again to be able to get to know expectant mom while she is pregnant and that baby boy will be a part of our eternal family too.

With a little one to love

And I prayed with hope

I prayed in faith

That soon the day would come-

That in my heart and in my arms

I’d hold a little one.

Like Sarah in the Bible
The days and years seemed long.

I waited for a miracle-

Would it ever come?

Unlike Hannah,

Unlike Sarah

It was not meant to be.

A little child would not be born-

Not from within me.

It seems like God just took me by the hand.

I heard him say, “This is the plan.”

I asked Him why this burden was mine to bear.

He said, “Find faith, I’ve heard your humble prayer.”

There’s a story in the Bible

A story I understand

About a woman who bore a child

And placed him in other hands.

She wanted him to be kept safe-

She traded sacrifice for faith…

And in the end he grew to be

One who looked upon God’s face.

Like this woman in the story

Another bore a son.

She traded sacrifice for faith-

And placed him in my arms.

Like Hannah, and like Sarah

My miracle had come-

And in my heart and in my arms.

I held my little one.

It seems like God just took my by the hand.

I heard him say, “This is the plan.”

Again, I prayed and humbly spoke to God above

For now I held a little one to love.

Grace's first Leo

2011-10-12T11:54:00.004-07:00

I started gymnastics when I was 5. I loved it! I was not very good but I made it up to competitive levels. Then, when we moved to Arizona when I was 9, we tried finding a good gym, but we just couldn't. So my sister and I did a little tumbling instead. Finally, around the time I was 13, a new gym opened less than a mile from us. My sister ended up getting a job there and I took tumbling at night. The summer before I was 16, I started coaching too. I ended up coaching there until I was 23. It was a great job and I loved it. It's where I grew to love children and wanted to become a mom.

Every season, we would get a whole new stash of Leotards. I would go through them, dreaming about when I would finally be able to buy my daughter a leo of her own. After going through infertility, I wasn't sure if that would ever happen. I bought tons of baby clothes, but I never bought a single Leotard. Then, we got our Miracle, Grace. I have been waiting 17 LONG months to put her in gymnastics. Most gyms have you wait until 18 months, but luckily, here in Rexburg, the class starts as soon as they are walking. I was thrilled! So we signed her up.

The first few times, I would just put her in a onesie. Then today, I put her in a swimming suit (that BARELY fit). As we were leaving, I looked through the Leotards. And suddenly, my dream was coming true. I found one that fit Grace (it's still a bit big) and instantly snatched it up. I had her do a little fashion show afterwards and she just kept rubbing her tummy. Even if she never loves gymnastics, I am so glad I was able to buy her this leotard, and live that dream. She is my miracle and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for her.

Starting her forward roll

Oops! Fell sideways!

Laughing on the floor

Stand up and big TA-DA!!!!!!

I seriously love this little leotard and I hope it's the first of many to come! It's a GK leo (I wore them all growing up) and it's Nastia Luikin's line! She's one of my favorite gymnasts so it made it even better! :)

And because I don't want to forget, today was the first day of gymnastics that Grace would let her coach help her! I'm really hoping it's helping with her stranger anxiety! She ran right up to Coach Mallory and wanted to swing on the rope! She also started doing the Choo Choo train on the way to each event. She's catching on to everything. Her all time favorite thing, is jumping into the foam pit. The drop is bigger than she is, but she thinks it is hysterical! Next favorite is the rope swing. She likes bars, but it always seems to fall towards the end of class when she gets tired. But she can do a pullover with my help and is totally fearless! She's turning into a monkey everywhere we go now!

Catching up... Again.

2011-10-08T19:27:00.004-07:00

Can it really be October already?

Life seems to be flying by. Grace keeps me busy. Life in Idaho is... interesting. :) It snowed a couple days ago. Snow, in October. It's just not right. And of course, it had to start snowing as I was driving 20 miles to the next town. We went shopping for my birthday and came out to find our car was covered in 3 inches of snow. It was a little unreal.

Grace is learning so much. She is starting to try to talk. She's also getting a lot more social and will say Hi to every person at the store she sees. It's quite funny. And she gets really mad if the person doesn't say Hi back. She is starting to want to color all the time now too. The signs she does the most during the day are Movie, Color, Airplane, and More. I see each one at least 10 times a day.

Grace is really starting to do well in gymnastics. She is doing forward rolls by herself on the mat, and she did a pullover with my help on the bars. She LOVES hanging on the bars. She also loves the trampoline and jumping off the end into the foam pit. She is getting a little more coordinated. I'm learning I'm definitely a helicopter parent and am always hovering over her making sure she doesn't fall. I'm trying to remind myself that she won't learn to be careful if she never falls. It's really hard though. I want to protect her as much as I can.

Expectant mom is 29 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going for me. I'm sure it is dragging on for her though. She has a hernia above the baby and it's causing her a lot of pain. Baby boy may need to come out sooner than we hoped so that she can get that taken care of sooner. He is constantly moving and kicking around.

Robby has been working 14-18 hours a day since we arrived. They are ALMOST finished with the project. I'm really hoping we can start spending more time together soon. It's quite lonely by myself here after Grace goes to bed. I've been watching a lot of shows and have read a couple books already too.

Although I really hate snow, I'm really excited to take Grace out to play in it. She has been loving the cold and the wind and the snow. She definitely doesn't get that from me. I got her a cute snowsuit and mittens so we will be prepared for the next storm.

Hopefully it won't be another month before I actually have exciting news or pictures. I feel like life is just moving along, quickly, but uneventfully. Which I'm DEFINITELY not complaining about. :)

Catching Up

2011-09-19T14:35:00.004-07:00

I have been so bad at this blogging business lately. It always seems to be the last thing to get done.

Back in June, Robby was let go from his job because they were going in a new direction. After a few weeks of trying to find something, we realized that jobs in Arizona for web developers were quite limited. Finally, Robby gets an email from a job listing in Idaho. Rexburg, Idaho. Home of BYU Idaho, and that's about it. :) We decided to pray about it. Then Robby found out about another job in Arizona. And then another in San Francisco. And yet another in Portland. So we were praying and the only thing that felt right was Idaho.

Now, I LOATHE snow. I don't like cold weather and LOVE sunshine. So for me to feel that Idaho is where we are supposed to go is both bizarre and unnatural. The company decides to fly us out there and instantly I fell in love. The city is beautiful. The BYU campus is fun to walk around. The Rexburg Temple sits on the top of a hill and you can see it from almost anywhere in the city. There are 2 bowling alleys and a theatre (that's only important because Maricopa doesn't have one). :) The houses are so classic and everywhere is Green. It feels like a whole different world up here. And EVERYONE is LDS (Mormon).

During all of this falling in love with Idaho, we found out about K, our new expectant mom. That definitely put a kink in our plans. We decided that Robby would be able to work from Arizona for the time being and then after Baby Boy was born and the adoption was finalized, we would revisit the plan to move to Idaho.

Well, I guess there needed to be a new plan. The company NEEDED Robby to come up and finish the project that they were working on. It could take 1-3 months, but most likely more like 3. So, off to Idaho we went. We thought about having Robby stay up there by himself but I knew I couldn't be away from him for 3 months.

So we packed as little as possible, and drove 12 hours to my parents (in reality it took 14 thanks to all the stops we took) and then drove another 3 hours up to Rexburg. We are staying in a tiny 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. We have no TV, limited internet, and no place to play inside. So, we've been outdoors almost all day long, every day. Grace is LOVING the park and running around. It is amazing to watch her climb and run. It does make for exhausting days but the sunshine is wonderful.

I'm sure I'll be complaining about the snow in the next month (please let it not snow for at least a month), but for now, I am enjoying Rexburg. Dare I say, I love it here. We went to the Student Ward (our whole apartment complex is the ward) and have already made several friends. I was so worried I wouldn't make friends because I've had a really hard time making new friends over the past few years, but everyone has been so loving. I think it really helps that no one can resist Grace's charm. Our ward has only 9 kids in it including Grace and almost every single one of the girls is baby hungry. So Grace provides a lot of entertainment. :)

Robby is working a TON. From 8 am until 10 pm and sometimes later. We miss him, but we go visit him about twice a day so we can bring him lunch, or dinner, and we go and run around the park as a family. It has been so wonderful and I can definitely feel our family coming so much closer together.

It's really scary not knowing what the future holds. We could end up back here, or we could end up staying in Arizona, or the whole company could be moving to San Francisco. We don't know and although it's a little terrifying, I know that Heavenly Father will help us go where we need to be. I know completely that this is where we are supposed to be right now. As hard as it is being away from Grace's birth families, and from Baby Boy's expectant mom, and all my friends, I can't deny this is where we are supposed to be.

Nursery

2011-08-21T20:13:00.005-07:00

I was called into the Nursery (18 months to 3 year olds) at church a couple weeks ago. I haven't been in Nursery for several years so it's definitely a different experience. I laugh because a few weeks ago I told someone if I was called into Nursery when Grace was going into it, I would say no. I guess Heavenly Father wanted to see if I was serious about that. I of course said that I would do Nursery and it's nice that I can be with Grace the whole time but not have to constantly be telling her Don't Touch because she's in a baby friendly zone now. :) I decided that even though she isn't old enough to be technically in nursery, that I would dress her up like a Big Girl so that she could at least look the part. ;) I bought her some brand new shoes, put on her "Pretties" (bracelet and necklace that the Manwarings gave her for her sealing day), a pretty dress, and a pretty bow (made by Kristin Williams, also for her sealing day), and got out the camera. She started Cheesing it up right away.

Grace hamming it up for the camera.

No more pictures please! Lol.

She is just way too cute!

She started playing peek a boo.

Hiding.

OH THERE YOU ARE! :)

Waving Hi to Daddy!

Random Thoughts

2011-08-14T21:40:00.004-07:00

It's been over a month since I last posted. Life has been very busy but not that exciting. Grace is continually growing. And good news, she is gaining weight, a lot of it. :) She has a huge pot belly and rolls on her thighs. After stressing so much about her weighing enough, I'm so happy that she is gaining now.

I have been in a little funk lately and desperately need to get my groove back. Lol. I am going to try waking up before Grace so I can exercise and get dressed first thing rather than lounge in my pajamas all day. Hopefully this makes it so I can fit back into my jeans comfortably again... :)

Robby has been working hard. He works from home so I get to see him all the time. I love having him home so I can get things done during Grace's nap.

We are slowly cleaning out our home after being inspired by the show Hoarders. We realized how much we are keeping for sentimental things that we never even look at and are in boxes in our attic. So we went through and kept only the bare minimum and tossed everything else. Same goes with all our clothes. If we aren't wearing it, it goes. We're trying to establish a new rule that before anything new comes in, something old must leave. We're having a garage sale this weekend so hopefully we can make some extra money and make some room in our garage.

I went to the temple this last week with our potential birth mom and her fiance' and had a wonderful time there. It was so wonderful being there and feeling the spirit. They are both investigating the church and I have loved being a part of this process. My dad always told me that during my baby blessing he blessed that I would be a missionary. Even though I didn't serve a full time mission, I feel like this is helping me be a missionary. We went through the family exhibit at the Mesa temple and sobbed. It talked about how our families can be together for Eternity. I know that is true and I'm so grateful that even though Grace wasn't born of me, that she is sealed to us with the same covenant.

I'm not sure I announced it here, but our potential birth mom is having a Baby Boy. We are SOOOOO excited! We bought Grace a baby doll to start practicing being gentle and she walks around snuggling it, rocking it, and feeding it. She's going to be an amazing big sister. We have been talking about names but nothing has really stuck yet. I guess it's going to end up coming to us at the last minute just like Grace. :) She is due Christmas but the doctor said most likely she will deliver 1-2 weeks early. It seems so far away and yet so soon.

I got called in to teach the nursery and today Grace came with me. She had a lot of fun playing with the older kids. She did fight over a few toys that the big kids liked to steal from her. Lol. She's at least a head shorter than the smallest one. She did however get them back by snuggling on to each one and not letting go until they pushed her off. She's very affectionate. :)

That's about all the news in our house. :) It's been an exciting month so far. :)

Expecting

2011-07-04T14:55:00.003-07:00

Baby Pookie at 12 weeks

This news is just too good to wait. We have been chosen by an expectant mother! She is due December 25. We have been in shock all weekend and it's starting to sink in but I'm sure over the next few months it will become very real. Expectant mom K is incredible! We are so excited to get to know her more over the next 5 months! We don't know boy or girl yet but she invited me to the gender revealing ultrasound in 3 weeks. She found us on the ItsAboutLove site (our agency profile) and said that she liked our profile but she LOVED our picture of Grace. I am just dying to get December here so that we can meet this sweet little baby.

TA DA!

2011-06-30T20:56:00.001-07:00

Life has been a little crazy so I haven't been very good at blogging. And I can't make any promises that it will get better because life will continue to be crazy for a while. :)

Grace and I were practicing our gymnastics and I was helping her do forward rolls. At the end of each one, I always say TA DA! and have her raise her hands. After she did a few she didn't want to play any more and wanted to walk around (did I mention she is walking every where now? It's a little crazy). As she was walking around, she kept raising her arms up in the air and said TA DA! I couldn't believe it! She is not a very verbal little girl so I was shocked! She usually just signs things instead of talking so I am counting this as another word. :)

At almost 14 months, she says Nana (banana), Dada (daddy), Mum mum (mommy, and only when crying), DAH!!!!!!!!! (dog, always said in her "monster" voice), and Noo Noo (binkie)

In the last few weeks, she has started signing fish, bath, cookie, and Dada. Cookie is her favorite and is always immediately followed with Eat and Please. She definitely has a sweet tooth!

Adoption Profile

2011-05-18T19:40:00.002-07:00

Our adoption profile is now on the It's About Love site for our agency! It is so exciting! I can't help but look every day to see if the profile hits are going up quickly. Robby and I are so excited to be hoping to adopt again! We can't wait until we can witness another miracle and welcome another birth mother (and hopefully another birth father) into our family. Feel free to pass along our button or our information to anyone. We really hope this journey is quick and that we get our miracle soon! :)

Grace and her bear through 1 year

2011-05-08T20:35:00.004-07:00

3 days

1 Month

2 Months

3 Months

4 Months (we were out of town and forgot her bear)

5 Months

6 Months

7 Months (Too busy getting sealed. We brought the bear with us but forgot to take a picture)

8 Months

9 Months

10 Months

11 Months

1 Year Old

What an amazing year it has been. She has definitely grown!

1 Whole Year

2011-05-04T21:34:00.002-07:00

I can't believe it. My baby girl is 1. This year has just flown by. It honestly still feels surreal at times that I'm a mom and that I have our precious Angel and that she is already almost a Toddler.

Grace is constantly learning. She is only saying a few words (mama, dada, dog, num num) but she is starting to learn new signs almost every other day. She can sign more, all done, eat, please, thank you, flower, movie, dog, and made up her own signs for snuggle and lovey (her little blanket). I can show her a sign and she will almost always attempt to sign it back.

Grace LOVES watching Tangled. She couldn't care less about any other movie but when Tangled comes on, she will sit and watch almost the whole thing. She loves the singing and dancing and bounces up and down on her knees while watching it. From the first moment it is on, she sees the fireworks and gets super excited (so we are working on the sign for fireworks). She loves watching Mickey whistle and laughs and points at him. She squeals and laughs when Rapunzel screams at Flynn and laughs even harder when Rapunzel hits herself in the head with the frying pan. She points and laughs at Maximus (the horse) and loves when Pascal comes on the screen. This is generally the time that I can clean up, fold laundry, and do dishes. Grace will snack on apple cinnamon cheerios and be completely content. I love it.

We went to Grace's 1 year doctor appointment and here are her stats. She is 15 lbs 10 oz and 30 inches long. She is having trouble gaining weight and I am constantly trying to get her to eat more. She is now on a mix of Hemp milk and Rice milk and we plan on starting Almond and Coconut milks in the next couple weeks. We want her to get a big variety and also be getting different fats and vitamins.

Grace's favorite food right now is Goats milk yogurt. I mix in a little flavored coconut milk yogurt and she gobbles it up. She also enjoys pretty much anything that I'm attempting to put in my mouth. She loves sitting on my lap and eating off my plate. Probably not a great habit to form, but I am a pushover. :)

We spent part of the day with Kayla (her birth mom) and had a lot of fun. We went out to an early dinner, went shopping, and then went to birth mom group. I just love going to group and hearing all their stories and feeling their special spirits. Those ladies are truly incredible. I am so grateful for Kayla (and Austin) and the sacrifice they made for Grace. I know I would not be a mom if it wasn't for them. Celebrating her birthday brought up a whole new love and respect for them. They are so amazing and I'm so grateful they are in our lives.

Grace's party is on Saturday so I'll make sure to post pictures then. :)

Family Pictures

2011-04-21T20:41:00.002-07:00

We got our family pictures done (again) and they are amazing! My friend Mary Jordan did them for us. She is an amazing woman, mom, and friend. We've been having play groups with our cute little bunkins since they are a month apart and both were adopted. You can check out our pictures HERE! They are hoping to adopt too and you can see their website HERE. Warning, it is the cutest thing you will ever see. :)

Thank you so much Mary! You're incredible!

And can I just say how much I love documenting our family like this? It's so fun to watch our family change and watch Grace get older. And I love all the different styles of photography.

And only 13 more days until our profile can go live. I should really get on top of that and get it all ready. I should probably call our case worker too... I'll get on that tomorrow. :) In between planning for Grace's birthday and bringing home a PUPPY! :)

Adoption Button

2011-04-07T11:19:00.002-07:00

In a mere 27 days, we will be able to have our profile back on Itsaboutlove.org (our agency website). We are so incredibly excited and nervous. Nervous because we don't know how long our wait will be. Nervous because we don't know what the journey will be like. Excited because we cannot WAIT until Grace becomes a big sister! Excited because we have been wanting to grow our family again!

In celebration of this momentous occasion, I've been working on the adoption blog. I also created our own adoption button! You can copy the button and put it on your blog! We found Grace by telling everyone we were going to adopt and we know that our chances of adopting are much higher the more people know about it. So help spread the word!

All you have to do is copy the code underneath our picture on the right. In your own blog, you add a Gadget and then select the HTML one. Copy the code into the main box and then save. It will add our little button and you will help spread the word! :)

Feel free to take a look at our Adoption Blog!

Answered Prayers

2011-03-29T14:03:00.002-07:00

Grace was sick this last Saturday. She threw up multiple times and was more clingy than usual and was refusing to eat. So Sunday and Monday we kept her on a liquid diet just to get it out of her system. Then today she started refusing food again and then threw up. Grace is already WAY too skinny and I've been trying to get her to gain weight so I was starting to really freak out. So I gave her a bath and I'm in tears just wondering what to do. Robby and I share a car so I'm at home, 45 minutes away from her doctor (who I might add isn't in on Tuesdays anyways) and have a sick baby.

I got her out of the bath and just started praying. I didn't know what I should do but I just asked for help. I then got Grace dressed and my phone rang. It was my visiting teaching partner Alisha. I thought she was calling about us visiting teaching this Saturday so I answered. She then asked how I was and that she heard Grace was sick and wanted to know how she was doing. I literally just started bawling. I told her that Grace just threw up and I didn't know what to do. She told me that just for peace of mind I should take her to the urgent care. She wasn't able to take me but she would find someone. 2 minutes later she calls back and says she talked to Jenna in our ward and she would come get me in 10 minutes.

Jenna takes us to Urgent Care and while we wait we stared talking. She tells me that this morning she had prayed for an opportunity to serve someone and a couple hours later she gets a call from Alisha.

I have no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father was answering my prayer. And I am so grateful for wonderful friends who listen to the promptings of the Spirit and ACT on them. It is just so comforting to know that Heavenly Father listens to me. Even though I am not perfect, He still loves me.

Grace is doing a little better. We have to keep her on fluids for a couple more days and follow up with our doctor. If she still isn't eating or able to keep anything down we will have to do something more drastic but I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that. So please help pray for Gracie that she will feel better quickly (and that she can gain back all the weight she lost plus some).

The Reception

2011-03-27T20:24:00.008-07:00

I know, you are probably all tired of wedding posts by now, but it's Sunday night and I'm "journaling". :) Also, I decided to combine 6-10 because it was just easier. :)

When picking my colors for the wedding, I naturally picked my favorite colors. Orange, Pink, Yellow, and Lime Green. I love everything bright and cheerful so it was pretty natural that is what I would pick.

For the flowers, I LOVE lilies so I wanted lots of calla lilies in different colors. I also wanted a lot of exotic flowers. I think the bouquets turned out beautiful!

The Food - I seriously only remember that there were eclairs, cake, barbeque pork sandwiches, and my fruit mountain. If there was other food, I didn't eat it. I was so lucky that our neighbor and great friend was able to put all the food together for us.

Isn't this the coolest thing? I seriously wish I could have one in my house at all times. :)

This is one of the centerpieces. We had them in orange (made with oranges) and yellow (made with lemons). I just loved it and thought it was so perfect!

This is to show off my shoes. I looked EVERYWHERE for white heels that I liked. I couldn't find any. And unfortunately, colored ones weren't "in" yet so I went a little more unconventional. I wore white DC tennis shoes. And I loved it! I was so comfortable! I could have jogged around. My feet didn't hurt at all. Wish I could say the same thing about my dress...

My other accessories were my sister's necklace from her wedding. It was my something borrowed. :) My veil was also from her wedding but my mom shortened it and added piping at the bottom. I wore earrings that Robby bought just for the wedding. They were white gold and were half hearts with diamonds in them. They are beautiful and I love wearing them. I also wore my bracelet he got me for our first Christmas.

The cake. My friend's mom made this for me and I LOVED it! The only cake layer was the top and the rest was styrofoam. I didn't want all that cake though so we had Costco sheet cakes instead. And I thought the cake looked so incredible. :)

The bridesmaids were my best friend Paige, my sister Kristi, and Robby's sister Alyssa. I wish we could have found dresses that I liked for everyone to wear but my mom did a great job making these skirts.

The Dress - I went to several stores before I found the perfect dress. And what did you know, it was strapless. I loved the line of the dress, the lace up back, and how it twirled when I spun around. So we had it altered to have sleeves. I didn't want just cap sleeves, I really wanted 3/4. Mostly because not a lot of people have it. The lady altered my dress beautifully but wanted to charge an arm and a leg for the beading. So my mom did the beading on the sleeves and the top part of the bodice. You would never be able to tell. She did an AMAZING job! Oh, and I wore "nice shoes" to the sealing because my mom wouldn't let me go in the temple with tennis shoes. Moms are so proper. ;)

The Men - Since I had so many colors for the wedding, we had each of the guys wear a specific color of tie. The youngest brothers wore Orange, the best man and other brother wore yellow, my brother in law wore green on his own (he's so awesome) and then the dad's wore green too. And Robby volunteered to wear pink. It's awesome now though because he loves wearing ties to match Grace. And she has a lot of pink. :)

Our reception was at Stonebridge Manor. It's a beautiful place and I had fond memories playing there growing up because my friend's parents are the owners. I love how classy it is and I was so glad we were able to have the reception there!

It was such a wonderful day. We were married June 17, 2005 in the Mesa Temple. Afterwards, we went to a luncheon at Mattas. Our reception was that night and it was so amazing. I am so incredibly grateful for all the wonderful friends we have that helped put the wedding together. We had friends do the food, flowers, cake, and my mom did the bridesmaid outfits. The day went by so quickly and I wish I would've written it all in my journal that night. But I guess 6 years later is almost as good. :)

Engagement Pictures

2011-03-27T20:00:00.007-07:00

These are some of my favorite engagement pictures that we took. They were done at Freestone park in April, I believe. I miss that long beautiful hair. Also, we both look so skinny! But one thing hasn't changed, we are still as much (if not WAY more) in love. :) I also remember it took FOREVER to find outfits that "matched" but weren't identical. And find something we both looked good in. This blue green brought out the blue in both of our eyes and so it was the winner.

This is Robby's favorite. I love how I'm gazing into his eyes. :)

I remember distinctly that we smashed our heads so tight together. We never moved more than a foot apart. :)
Poor Robby. Lol. I had to jump on his back for this one. He was not used to carrying me around!
This is the one we ended up choosing for our invitation. I just love it!
We look so lovey dovey in this one!
This one is just fun. I love the tire swing!

The Ring

2011-03-27T19:53:00.002-07:00

After Robby proposed with my mom's ring, we soon went ring shopping. I looked online and found a few things I liked but nothing I loved. Until, I found this ring. :) It has a princess cut (that's sounds so much prettier than square) and then diamonds on each side of it. It was WAY too expensive looking back but I loved it. I also paid for it myself. Which I know most women would hate but I love that I can say I worked for it. And really, it's OUR money once we were married anyways. :) And it helped build up my credit which was awesome! I know, hopeless romantic. Lol.

Robby could seriously care less about his ring. He wanted something simple, comfortable, and not very expensive. His is just a white gold band. But he wears it all the time. Which I love because way too many girls hit on my cute stud muffin! :)

Grace's birth dad came to visit

2011-03-27T19:36:00.003-07:00

Grace checking him out. She is so much better with guys than girls. I should probably be really worried about that... :)

Poor thing was not feeling very well that day but she was still adorable!

Blowing kisses to Austin. I seriously almost started crying. :)

All of us together. :)

We seriously love when Austin comes to visit Grace (and us). I love having such a wonderful open adoption! It's so nice to hear how well he is doing with work and how great his family is doing. And the way he looks at Grace just makes my heart swell. You can see the love he has for her in his eyes (and in his smile). She has so much of his looks. While we were at the park we were talking to another mom and she was shocked that Grace was adopted and thought that Austin was her uncle. I quickly corrected her and am so infinitely grateful that we have him (and Kayla) in our family. :)

Proposal

2011-03-22T14:24:00.003-07:00

It was February 17, 2005. I woke up and was about to get ready for work when I saw an envelope. I opened it up and it said to get dressed, that I didn't have to go to work because it was covered by Trevor and then to read the next card. The next card told me to drive myself to the first place Robby and I saw each other. So I got in my car, drove to the institute building where we had church and found another card there. --- Sidenote, I got hit on while I was there and was about to tell the person "BACK OFF I'm getting proposed to right now!" but I didn't and just said I had to leave. Lol.

The next card sent me to where we first talked. It was at Family Home Evening at the Temple in the church across the street. We were eating donuts and drinking hot chocolate. Robby saw me get away from my then current boyfriend who was making me upset. I think it was something along the lines of he was telling me about the date he just went on with another girl... So I saw Robby and decided we should talk so I could make the current boyfriend jealous. Sidenote--- Girls are evil. :)

I looked EVERYWHERE for a card and could not find one! I tried calling Robby several times and couldn't get a hold of him. So I was sitting in the parking lot trying to figure out what to do. I finally get a hold of Robby's friend Brian and tell him there is nothing there. So he talked to Robby and told me to go to where we had our first kiss. I found out later that Robby had written me a beautiful poem and had a cd player there to play a song to me. I'm really sad someone stole it. :(

I went to Robby's house where we had our first kiss and under the love sack was a pile of Hershey's kisses and a card saying to go to where we first said "I love you." That was just in the next room over so I went there and found a card saying to go to Papago Peak. He gave me directions but of course I got lost and had to call him. I finally found it and hiked up to the top. I am not a hiker but luckily this only took me 5 minutes. :) Then at the top there was a CD player and a note saying to play the song and close my eyes. It was our song and when it finished, I opened my eyes and he was right in front of me.

He told me he wanted to be with me forever and asked me to marry him. I of course started crying because he was tearing up and said "YES!" We hadn't bought a ring yet so he borrowed my mom's ring and put it on my finger. We then sat at the top of the peak and looked out over the city of Tempe. I took 2 pictures on my really old camera phone and hopefully some day I will download them off of that. :)

This reminds me that we need to get back to that peak. We have talked for years about going to it and haven't. Maybe we will this year...

When you knew he was the one

2011-03-19T16:04:00.003-07:00

I knew Robby was the one when I went to visit his family. They were incredible. They welcomed me with open arms. And I have to say that the horse back riding was probably one of the biggest things. Watching Robby be so confident on a horse and how much he helped me since I was not so confident. :) I came home from that trip and told my mom that Robby was the guy I was going to marry. She laughed at me and was completely not convinced. For Christmas I bought him 2 picture frames with one having a picture of me and the other a picture of the Salt Lake Temple. I know for a fact it freaked him out but I knew I was supposed to marry him. And I made him buy me a gorgeous white gold bracelet with hearts. :) Needless to say I am shocked he didn't go running for the hills.

How it All Began

2011-03-18T14:37:00.005-07:00

Yep. Kissing. :) This was shortly after we started dating.

A week after our first date at the Christmas Temple Lights.

This is Robby and I at the New Year's Eve stake dance in Yuma. 2 weeks after our first date.

This was the day after Christmas when we were finally back together after 2 long days of separation. :)

Going along with The previous post, this is number 1. How it all began.

I was attending a single's ward and loving it. I had moved out of my parents house and was living a quarter of a mile from Mesa Community College where I was going to school. One week, my roommate Joanna and I decided to go to ward choir. We went and the only things I can remember are that I was not crazy about the director because she seemed like a crazy person, and there was a really cute boy I had never seen. Well, come to find out, that boy was our Home Teacher's roommate and best friend. SCORE! So I purposefully got myself in front of the home teacher and cute boy and was chatting with them. Their other roommate decided to ask me and Joanna over to eat and hang out after church. I was ecstatic. Finally I would get to talk to this cute boy!

I went over there and this boy wouldn't talk to me. I kept flirting and flirting and he kept talking to Joanna instead of me. He was playing his guitar and so Joanna and him were talking guitars and basses and jazz music. I tried to talk Jazz music since I sang it, but he kept right on ignoring me. So I did what I do best, flirt with another guy. Lol. I talked to his roommate Kevin who would give me the time of day and actually was the one who invited me over. Well, Kevin and I kept talking and ended up having a great time so he asked me out. I said yes and we had a small relationship (I'm talking 2 weeks) and we were both still seeing other people. After Kevin and I realized we didn't really click, we broke up. (But for the record, I broke up with him). :)

A few weeks later, I had just finished all of my finals (most of which I didn't do great on) and was lounging in my PJs and watching John Q. I had been invited to a couple parties that night but I really couldn't decide on what to do. I was contemplating just staying home for the night with Denzel and enjoying the quiet of all my roommates gone. Then I get a call on my pink sparkly phone. I didn't know the number and normally I would never answer, but I was curious. It was the cute boy. Robby.

He asked me if I had plans that night and wanted to go to a wedding with him. He was the best man and all of his friends couldn't go. It was 3 pm so I said sure. He then tells me we need to leave by 4 in order to make it because we have to drive over 2 hours each way. So I jumped up, got out of my PJs, got a black shirt and red skirt on, did my makeup, and drove out the door to his house. I was really nervous but luckily I'm chatty when I'm nervous. We talked the entire time on the way there. We talked about our families, about his mission, about school, about what we wanted in a family, about music, anything that came into our heads. It was so much fun.

When we got to the wedding, Robby was in the receiving line, and I sat on a chair. It was so fun watching him interact with people from a distance. He was so smiley and warm. I chatted with the Grandma of the bride and she was shocked this was our first date. She said we looked like we were so in love.

After the wedding, we drove back to his house and kept talking. Oh, and I can't forget one of my favorite parts of the night. I was in a skirt. There was NO WAY I was driving two more hours in a skirt so I had brought my pajama pants. So, after he opened the door for me, he was walking around to the other side and I slid my pants on under my skirt and then pulled my skirt off. He thought I was insane. Lol.

Anyways... We got back to his house and I said "Wouldn't it be fun if we stayed up all night watching movies?" He was so excited and said of course! So, we went to the grocery store, got some food, and some Orange Rolls, and went back to his house and got on the Love Sack and watched some movies. We watched Cutting Edge, the rest of John Q, Minority Report, Beauty and the Beast, and the second Lord of the Rings. During Lord of the Rings, he FINALLY got up the courage to kiss me. It was short and sweet and I was in love.

He had to drive to Yuma for Christmas and I was so heartbroken. I had already scheduled a date for that afternoon with another guy so I had to leave too. The whole time on the other date, I couldn't stop thinking about Robby. The other poor guy didn't stand a chance (and this was our 4th or 5th date we had been on). I just couldn't get Robby out of my mind.

I called him every day he was gone and we talked for hours. After only 2 days, I finally decided I couldn't handle it anymore and asked him if I could come visit. He agreed and I drove down to Yuma to meet his family. Yes, after 2 days people and only 1 date. Lol. His family was amazing. We went horseback riding with his Grandpa and had so much fun. His mom even invited me to stay the night. The next day we got up and drove back to Gilbert to have him meet my family. Then he went back to Yuma for Christmas and was back the next day. We were inseparable. The next week we drove to Yuma again and spent New Years with his family at the Stake Dance.

Wow, that's a long story. :) Stay tuned for more.

Wedding Post Challenge

2011-03-18T14:28:00.002-07:00

My friend Chelsea posted a Wedding Post Challenge and I thought it sounded like fun. So I'm giving it a try. Here's the list of the posts.

1. how it all began: how you met, first date, first kiss, how long did you date? first picture together.....etc.
2. when you knew he was the one: self explanatory.. but how and when did you know?
3. proposal: how it happened, how long were you engaged for? was it a total surprise? pictures of that... etc.
4. the ring: tell us about it! did you pick it out? did he? pictures! tell us about his ring too!
5. engagement/bridal pictures: let's see em!
6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used
7. the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?
8. the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?
9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?
10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!
11. your song and/or the first song you danced to at your wedding: share a music video or lyrics if you can!
12. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.
13. honeymoon: where did you go? was it good? ;) haha...jk.
14. thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?
15. first place that you lived together: pics if you have them!
16. kids: do you have any yet? if not, when do you plan on it? how many do you want? any tips on good/bad birth control?
17. most recent picture of you and your significant other and what you love most about them :) and any other thoughts.

I have really been wanting to document all of this and so when I heard about the challenge, I thought I would give it a try. :) I hope you enjoy.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T16:25:00.002-07:00

Yes, I bought 2 outfits for St. Patrick's day. It's just too tough to not buy the cute things. :) Plus, they were both on clearance. :) No leprechauns visited our house this year, but you can bet they will next year. :)

Also, doesn't Grace look like she's doing a heel stretch in the last picture? She's so going to be a cheerleader! :)

Robby's birthday

2011-03-14T09:49:00.007-07:00

We were able to celebrate Robby's birthday this last weekend with his family in Yuma. We had so much fun.

Robby getting sung to. :)
Blowing out the candle. Grace was so confused by all of this. Only 2 months until it's her turn!
I made 2 kinds of VEGAN cupcakes. This is Cookies and Cream. There were cookies in the frosting, the batter, and on top. Delicious!
These were the chocolate cherry cupcakes. I think I might have been the only person to really like them. They were really tart cherries because Walmart had absolutely no frozen ones. And they didn't have any maraschino cherries either. :(
All the Colvin cousins. Jake just loves Grace and is always bringing her toys over and giving her loves. Connor loves her too but was so excited to hold his baby sister Clara. We all laugh because Clara weighs almost as much as Grace. But she sure is adorable! :) I think Grace might end up the only brunette though...

We just love spending time with family! :)

Visiting Grace's birth dad's family

2011-02-24T09:46:00.004-07:00

Back in January, we went to visit Grace's birth dad and his family. We had so much fun and it's so wonderful to see how much love this little girl has.

Grace with her birth dad and birth cousin. Her birth cousin just ADORES Grace! :)
Birth dad and Grace walking. She will be anybody's friend if you help her walk. Lol.
Checking out birth cousin's hair. I think Grace is jealous. :)
Getting smooches from her birth cousin. He loves Grace too and kept asking me to put her on his lap. :)
Grace with Birth Grandma (Nana Glenna), Birth Dad, and Birth Grandpa (Papa Pride)
Grace with her birth dad, birth aunts, and birth uncle.

Open adoption is so amazing in my life. I love having all of these wonderful people there for me, for Robby, and especially, for Grace. I'm so glad she will have this part of her heritage and she will always know that she is so loved by this family (as well as birth mom's family).

What Grace has been Learning

2011-02-24T09:27:00.001-07:00

Grace is growing like crazy. Every day it seems like she is so much older. She is constantly learning and amazing me. Here are a few of the things she has been learning. :)

How to give kisses. She loves giving any of her toys kisses. It takes a little more coaxing for Robby or I to get a kiss, but she will sometimes submit to being kissed. Lol.
She is learning to blow kisses. This is pretty much as far as it goes. She doesn't understand the whole blowing the kiss. I think she just likes kissing herself. Lol.
She is learning to crawl on her hands and knees. She's been scooting on her belly for over 3 months so it's about time! :)
Here she is crawling some more. She gets really excited when she does. It's still really slow but she's starting to get the hang of it. She still scoots on her belly when she gets frustrated though.

She's learning to feed herself. These are one of her favorite foods. Peas. She also loves Broccoli, carrots, butternut squash, and cauliflower. She loves anything that we are eating. But her favorite food by far, Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus. Weird, I know. :)
Checking out the peas. She's definitely working on that Pincer grasp!

And Grace just being her cute little self. You can see her bottom teeth in this picture. She's also just had 1 top tooth poke through last week and her second middle top tooth will be poking through in the next week. And she is definitely, like her shirt says, a Princess. :)

Time Passes Quickly

2011-02-19T16:35:00.004-07:00

6 years ago on the 17th, I said Yes to one of the best questions ever. "Will you marry me?" It's been a crazy ride since. A little over a year after that, we started going through infertility. 4 years after that, this happened. It's been exactly 2 years since that day. I've been feeling really depressed thinking about it. It's been really hard the past few weeks. I keep having this feeling that I want to be pregnant. I blame it on hormones and being a woman. ;) I'm trying to remember that it's ok to want that. Even if it will never happen. (Side note: Found out from one of my adoptive mommy friends that only 7% of women who adopt then become pregnant. Everyone just happens to know someone in that 7% so it seems like it's more). I'm trying to remember to continue to allow myself to grieve that I won't get to feel the little kicks on the inside of my tummy. I won't get to read the "Pregnant" on a little white stick. I won't get to have them rub that goop on my tummy and hear the words "It's a..." And it's ok to be sad about it, as long as it doesn't consume me.

I was then going back over old posts and found this one and this one. I am so incredibly blessed. I am so grateful that our infertility led us here. I have an incredible daughter. She is truly my light and my joy. She is my saving grace. I count my blessings every day for her. I'm also blessed with two amazing birth families that love her and love Robby and I. It is so incredible to have so many people who love this one little girl. She is such a miracle and I wouldn't trade any of my experience for anything. She came exactly the way she was supposed to. She is sealed to Robby and I for time and all Eternity. Just as if she had come through birth. I love her as much as if she were my flesh and blood. She is a miracle.

Bath Time

2011-02-15T13:53:00.003-07:00

Grace is really starting to enjoy bath time. This coming from the baby who screamed the entire time during a bath for the first several months. She now splashes happily for at least 10 minutes and gets a little upset when I take her out.

Grace with her Tinkerbelle toy.
Grace thinks it's hilarious when I put a cup on her head.
She loves trying to catch the water in her hand. She will even try catching it with her mouth sometimes. Lol. She has started swimming like a little froggy on her belly too. She is definitely going to become my little fishy this next summer as we enjoy pool time. :)

Valentine's day

2011-02-15T13:36:00.005-07:00

Here's Grace in her Valentine's outfit. I couldn't find anything I liked (and that was her size) that was Valentine's related so I found this cute little thing. She is a little Princess and I hope she doesn't have to kiss too many frogs. ;)

Grace pulls herself up on to everything nowadays. I think it shows off the cute little ruffles on her pants too. :)

Tried to get Grace to help hold the Valentine.

Grace with her Bear. She is so big and keeps getting bigger.

Checking out her Valentine. :)

8 Months

2011-01-10T20:26:00.008-07:00

Grace crawling over her teddy bear to get some toys.

This is a very classic Grace face. She sucks in her lips. She recently learned how to make them "pop" when she opens her mouth. She thinks it's hilarious (and so do I).

She seriously is the cutest thing ever (and I'm pretty sure she knows it too).

Just hugging Sam the Bear. :)

I can't believe how big my little girl is now compared to her bear. The bear used to seem so much bigger. Time to get a bigger bear. ;)

Grace is officially 8 months, as of the 4th. I have been meaning to write this post for almost a week, but with an unexpected illness and Robby hogging the computer to actually do work (I know right?) I wasn't able to get around to it. But I finally stole the computer from him and wanted to write about our sweet little 8 month old.

Grace has so much personality for a baby. She is constantly making me laugh. She doesn't do and like things that most babies do. For instance, Grace hates to eat. She could be starving and not have eaten for 12 or more hours (that's how long she sleeps at night, thank you Babywise) and she still would rather play than eat. She'll take a couple sips of her bottle and then push it away and try to sit up so she can talk. Or she will just chew on the bottle and tell me a story while little drops of milk drip down the side of her mouth onto my arm. While she is eating her solid food, she will turn her body completely around in her high chair so that she can stare at the ground. And then to make it all the more comical, while she fights eating so hard, she will start screaming because she realizes she is in fact hungry and won't stop screaming until food is back in her mouth. I'm learning that this (and many other things) is something I have to let her do on her own time. Sometimes it will take 15 minutes to feed her a bottle, other times 30-45 minutes (which if it does take that long, I generally need to rewarm her bottle because she doesn't like her formula cold). She is definitely very stubborn and can't be rushed to do anything.

Grace has been scooting around like crazy. She is on her tummy still and using her elbows and her right foot. She still refuses to push off with her left foot and just lets it kick up and down while she scoots. She has started pulling herself up on things. Today, for the first time, she pulled herself to standing by using the couch. It was so adorable. She stayed there for a couple minutes just giggling because she was so excited. Then she turned around and took a step. I'm not counting it as her first step because I literally had to lunge to catch her before she face planted. Lol. I think it was just her getting excited and trying to kick her feet. Such a silly girl. She has also learned that if she whines and crawls to me, I will automatically pick her up. If I don't, she starts screaming and showing me her pouty lip (which is so not fair because no one can resist that).

Grace is still showing a definite aversion to strangers. If I am holding her, she is fine. She will smile and "chat" with anyone but if someone else comes near her and I'm not holding her, she will scream. I blame myself for not having more babysitters come over or having more people hold her at church and things. But after waiting 4 years to hold a baby in my lap at church, I just love having her in my lap. And when I have let other people hold her, my arms feel too empty. So for now I enjoy my sweet and spoiled little girl only wanting mommy and daddy.

At her last doctor's appointment, Grace weighed 15 lbs 14 oz and was 28 1/2 inches tall. I am constantly worrying about her weight gain since that is only 11 oz in 2 months. The doctor said not to worry but I am pretty sure it's a requirement in being a mom. She did however grow 2 inches tall. So the slow weight gain is probably just from being a finicky eater and constantly on the move. But hopefully at her 10 month appointment she will have gained a little bit more than that.

Grace has also created a new "fun" game. She crawls for the Playstation, I tell her no, she looks at me and smiles, then starts crawling faster, I run to get her, she gets mad and screams at me, I move her 4 feet away and give her a toy, she begins to crawl for Playstation again. I try really hard not to laugh when she does this because I don't want her to think it's even more funny but her little mischievous smile just cracks me up.

I can't believe it was 2/3 of a year ago that she came in to our lives. It's just so surreal and amazing to me. She is an incredible little girl and I love her so much.

Christmas Party

2011-01-04T20:59:00.004-07:00

Sorry this is so late, but here are some pictures of Grace from our Ward Christmas party.

Grace LOVED her candy cane. It was the perfect chew toy.

She did not like Santa Claus. To be fair, she doesn't like pretty much anyone holding her other than family. :)

Christmas Pictures

2010-12-01T20:40:00.005-07:00

The whole family. :)

Grace in her sealing/blessing dress

Our whole family again

She just loves her daddy

She was exhausted by the time pictures were about to be done. Look at those poor little bags under her eyes. She had a long day. :)

My amazing friend Shannon took our family pictures. She took Grace's newborn pictures and we just adored them so of course we would use her again for pictures. :) She did a fabulous job again. We HIGHLY recommend her so if you're in Arizona, and want fantastic pictures, definitely give her a call!

Thanksgiving

2010-12-01T20:31:00.003-07:00

Wearing her Thanksgiving bib and looking too cute. :)

Eyeing her cousins fork. She really wanted to play with it. Her new favorite toy is her plastic spoons so it makes sense. :)

Reaching for the fork and cousin Connor not letting her get it. :)

This girl loves to smile. :) And it makes me smile.

We had so much fun spending time with Robby's family for Thanksgiving. I actually cooked all of our own food for the first time. It was a lot of fun. Everything I made was vegan and incredibly tasty. :) And super fattening. We went through a lot of fake butter. :) Grace loved watching her cousins. Her favorite thing was to chase after them (while I was holding her). They would run and laugh and she would just laugh hysterically and reach out for them. She loves watching and interacting with older kids so she was in heaven.

It's Official!

2010-12-01T20:28:00.002-07:00

Grace is officially and legally a Colvin. I can't believe it. We are so thrilled to have her be a part of our family. In a few short days she will be part of our eternal family and I cannot wait. It has been the most amazing journey and I cannot wait until we can add to our family again through adoption.

National Adoption Day with Birth Parents

2010-11-21T08:58:00.008-07:00

We were able to spend National Adoption Day with Grace's birth parents and it was so much fun! They met at our house and we talked for a while (while Grace napped) and then we went to the park to take pictures. It was such a fun moment and I'm so happy I will be able to show these to Grace. I can't wait to print them off and put them in her room. :)

Afterwards we went out to dinner all together and just were able to talk more. I am so happy we have this great open adoption and feel so blessed. :) I wouldn't have it any other way!

A year ago... And now

2010-11-15T16:08:00.003-07:00

It's hard to believe that a year ago we were taking this pictures...

And now we're taking pictures like this. :)

I can't believe how incredible the past year has been. We have been blessed in so many ways. If I was told last year that I would have a sweet 6 month old in my arms and was about to have her sealed to us for Eternity, I probably would have smiled and said "Yeah right." But it happened. :)

Why I love Open Adoption

2010-11-13T20:13:00.006-07:00

Grace with Daddy and Birth dad

Grace trying to shove her hand in birth dad's mouth

I seriously think they look so similar.

I cannot to begin to describe how wonderful an open adoption can be. Ours is truly incredible. We have an amazing birth mom who is loving and so much fun to be around. She feels like my sister (and she calls me that often). Her mom welcomed us with open arms into their family and invites us to family get togethers. I have met a lot of their family and I love it! We also have an incredible birth father. A lot of birth fathers are not involved or if they are, they tend to not participate as much in the openness. Grace's birth father is so wonderful though and texts and emails us on a regular basis to see how we are doing and how Grace is doing. And this weekend we got to have him come visit Grace. It was the most wonderful thing. He told us a lot about himself as a baby and we found out that he and Grace share a love of peas. :) My eyes filled with tears as he told me that because I can't wait to be able to tell her that is why she loves peas so much. I love that she has his mouth and the same shape of face. I love that Grace has Kayla's eyes and nose. And after he left, he sent us a text to say thank you for letting him come over. I can not ever begin to express how grateful we are that he is still in ours and Grace's lives. She is so blessed to have him and his family (and well as Grace's birth mom and family) be there for her and love her as much as Robby and I do. It's so incredible. I can't wait to bring more children into our home and hearts through adoption and bring more birth families. We feel so blessed and loved to have such an amazing open adoption and it would never be possible without Kayla and Austin.

From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours

2010-11-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

I heard this song for the first time when I was about 15. I cried through the whole thing. I knew then what a wonderful thing adoption was. Now as an adoptive mom, having been told this by Grace's birth mom, I sob through this song. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and giving us this wonderful gift. I am grateful for Grace's birth parents and the decision they made. It is truly the biggest blessing. And I can tell you honestly that I give Grace an extra kiss for Kayla and Austin every day. Grace is so loved by all of her families.

Adoption Bonding

2010-11-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

I found a great post on adoptive bonding and it really struck close to my heart. This is going to be hard to write and even harder to admit but I really feel like it needs to be said. You can read the post here: http://www.laurachristianson.com/laura/myths-about-bonding/ and it will really help explain some of my feelings.

Being in the delivery room with Grace was incredible. It was one of the best things I have ever experienced. And then Grace came out. I was terrified. After the whole situation with Grace's birth dad wanting to disrupt the adoption and my heart being broken, I was still terrified that something would happen and we would have to go home with empty hands and empty hearts. Because of this, I guarded my heart like crazy. I held Grace only a handful of times in the hospital. I kept trying to have Grace's birth mom hold her and I tried to guard my heart.

Normally after 72 hours, the birth parents relinquish their rights. When talking with Kayla (birth mom) and Austin (birth dad) at 72 hours neither of their family could be there to support them. So we were supposed to push it back another day. I sobbed. I was terrified that one more day would change everything. After bringing Grace home, I just went through the emotions but I couldn't bring myself to sit and stare at her and soak it in. Placement happened at about 76 hours after birth and when Kayla went in the room to sign, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I felt like I was making her tear away her right arm. I know now that she was doing all of this for Grace but then, I was just so terrified. Kayla was back there for over 30 minutes. I felt sure she had changed her mind. When her caseworker came out alone, I knew what I feared had happened. But her caseworker just asked if Kayla could spend time with Grace and she had already signed her papers. At that time, my heart exploded. I felt so many emotions and my heart couldn't contain them all.

After that, I thought I would automatically bond with Grace. I was wrong. I felt so much love for her but I thought it would be more or different. Yet another thing I didn't expect as a mom. I thought it would be automatic and strong. But it did happen. There wasn't one moment that stands out that I can say was the turning point, but over time we've grown closer and closer together. And now, Grace won't go to anyone but me or Robby. She knows I'm her mother and more importantly, I know I'm her mother. There were too many miracles that happened for me to not believe it. It was a long, incredible journey but I would do it again in a heart beat.

I can't believe it

2010-11-08T20:19:00.002-07:00

I truly can't believe it. 6 years ago yesterday I talked to a boy-but not THE boy. His friend was really cute and I had been eyeing him for a few weeks. I told the boy I would love to come over and hang out and to myself I was so excited to finally talk to his friend. Well, the friend didn't give me the time of day. He said maybe 3 words to me the whole night. So I agreed to go on a date with the boy. It turned into nothing (well more he dumped me because I wouldn't make out with him aka I had morals). Lol. And I thought that was that. Finally, on December 13 (13 is my lucky number by the way) the friend finally talked to me. We both flirted (probably more than we normally would have but we were both trying to make other people jealous) and I gave him my number (which really made my boyfriend mad, haha). Then on December 17th, he finally asked me out. I fell in love that day. I dumped my other boyfriend and never looked back. 6 months later we got married. It's so funny how everything worked out. (the even funnier thing is that Grace's birth dad is my old boyfriend's 1st cousin, small world). I'm so thankful I met Robby. I'm so glad that we have an eternal marriage. He is such an amazing partner and friend. I love him so much. :)

Adoption in the Media

2010-11-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

As I was browsing one of my friends from babycenter's blog, she was talking about the pros and cons of adoption in the media. For the most part, adoption is portrayed in a way that is completely opposite from what happens in real life. I can guarantee we won't have a 16 year old who is snarky and plays guitar and makes awesome jokes every 5 seconds and is named after a greek god. It just isn't reality. :) We always hear the crazy stories like the lady who adopted from Russia and then sent him back on a plane with a note safety pinned to his shirt that said to take him back to the orphanage. That one got a lot of press and it's just so sad. We also often hear about the birth dad who comes back after 3 years of their child being placed in an adoptive home and saying that he never knew about the adoption and wants his child. Those things happen, but they aren't portraying the majority of adoptions.

Want to read a wonderful adoption story? Here's a real life one. :) These are some of my favorite people. They currently are the co-chairs for the Mesa Families Supporting Adoption and they are seriously an amazing family. You can read their story HERE.

I wish more stories would be spread around that show what a positive thing adoption can be. Adoption has changed my life and I hope that it has changed yours in some way. Even if it's just by knowing me. :)

Unsolicited Comments

2010-11-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

I found this story and found it really poignant. I get asked a lot of these questions by complete strangers. I have been told on numerous occasions how "lucky Grace is that we adopted her." She is not the lucky one, we are. I didn't adopt because I wanted a medal, I don't need to be told I'm such a great person for adopting. We adopted because we wanted children and biology did not matter. We wanted to be able to raise children and love them. We are so blessed for being chosen by 2 birth parents who wanted their child to be sealed to a mother and a father; who were waiting and ready for children. We are so blessed to be able to have Grace in our family. It's incredible. This story is just so that we can be reminded to watch what we say. :)

When my husband and I became first-time parents in 1991 of our then five-month-old Guatemalan-born daughter, I felt that after the adoption process I was prepared for anything. On our second day home with our baby, I was extremely proud to finally be able to tour our neighborhood with my new baby in her stroller. Mother and daughter at long last. We barely made it around the corner when two ladies ran from their homes to meet Kahleah and to express to their amazement that "from a distance you look like you could be her mother!" I politely told them that I was her mother. They giggled and said, "No, you know what we mean! HER REAL MOTHER!" Ouch. That hurt.

Then came the questions. "Where are her parents?" "Are her parents dead?" "How much did she cost?" "Why didn't her real parents want her?" "Can her real parents take her back?" "Will her skin get much darker?" "Why didn't you adopt a white baby?" "How old was her real mother?" "Does she have brothers and sisters?" "Will she ever learn to speak English?" "Will you tell her she is adopted?" "Does she have any diseases?" "How tall will she be?" "Who's fault is it that you couldn't get pregnant?" "Did you try IVF?" "Do you suppose that now that you have adopted you will finally have one of your own?" I wanted to scream, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!"

Then came the statements. I guess I should have expected them "That's one lucky little girl you have there! Just imagine the kind of life you saved her from." "There is a special place in heaven for people like you." "It takes a special person to parent a child like that." "I never would have guessed that you were not her parents. Why, you treat her just like she was your own kid!" "I would never adopt! You never know what you are getting." "Adoption is a good cure for infertility! Now maybe you will be blessed with a child of your own!" "Gosh. I hope you know what you are getting yourself into!"

Six years ago, I found myself speechless and hurt many times. I was bewildered, frustrated and hurt. What gives people the right to single out my family, in very public situations, and to expect responses to very intrusive personal matters? I just don't understand it. We seem to know enough to not ask people such questions as, how much did you pay for your house? What is your salary? How much did you pay for your car? Further, I would never ask someone how many months they had "tried" before they conceived a child, but they feel that they can put me on the spot and ask me these questions.

Now that my daughter is six years old and the proud sister to 3-year-old Colombian-born Tristan, she is an innocent witness to this invasion. She is extremely proud of her little brother and sees him for exactly what he is-her brother. Recently, a man in a shopping center took a long look at me, and then my children, then back to me. With Kahleah standing beside me, listening intently, he asked, "Are they yours?" "Yes." "Are they brother and sister?" My Kahleah put a protective hand on her brother's shoulder and replied, "Yes, he is my baby brother." The man looked to me and said, "They don't look alike, they can't be real brother and sister!" I glanced at Kahleah and then firmly, yet calmly stated, "They are brother and sister." He seemed puzzled and continued with "But they're not blood brother and sister, right?" I realized at this point what was truly important was what my children were getting from the conversation. It was time to end the interrogation. Smiling at my children we proceeded to walk away. I ended the conversation with, "Sir, trust me. They are real brother and sister. Please remember when you engage me in these conversations... I am an adult. I know what you are "trying" to say. My children are young and are listening. The hurt in their eyes is much worse than the pain of skinning their knees or falling off a bike. It is much harder to put a Band-Aid on their hearts or self-esteem."

So many times someone comes up to my precious children to inform them what a "lucky little girl/boy" she/he is. I am quick to jump in with, "No, it is their father and I who are lucky to be blessed with them!" It is true that not everyone we meet is malicious, but I must be on guard. I used to love when my daughter was a baby and people would stop me and exclaim, "What beautiful black eyes she has! Look at that straight black hair! Nice brown skin!" Although I thought these were positive comments, by the age of four, my daughter had had enough. One day, in our community, after having numerous people make these same observations over and over again, Kahleah buried her face in my stomach, overwhelmed. She said she was tired of people "always" pointing out the same things: her hair, eyes and skin. I realized that they were pointing out her racial differences, and her differences from me, her mother. She was reading between the lines on her own. Maybe this was just her perception, but she was feeling it.

I ask you, what child deserves to be made to feel different simply because of race? Or to intimate in their presence that their parents are doing an act of charity by adopting them? My children's birth histories belong to them, and only them. Why can't people accept us as a family, built with love and a lifelong commitment? Is this so very hard to understand?

Leceta Chisolm Guibaault lives in Quebec, Canada and is a member of The Federation of Quebec Adoptive Parents. She is a mother of two children - Kahleah born in Guatemala & Tristan born in Colombia.
© Adoption Today

Adoption Myths

2010-11-06T10:11:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the myths I found on the Itsaboutlove.org website. I hear a lot of these.

Most birth mothers who place their babies for adoption are teenagers. Most birth mothers who choose adoption are in their early twenties, although women of all ages make this decision.

Birth parents who place their babies for adoption are abandoning their responsibility and taking the “easy way out.” There is no easy way out of unplanned pregnancy; any option involves emotional pain. Most birth mothers who do not choose abortion make the choice initially to parent their babies. Those who choose adoption do so after taking some time to carefully consider their options and the best interests of their child. Adoption is a courageous, loving choice which shows that the birth mother takes seriously the responsibility to be a parent.

An adoptive parent cannot love a child as much as a biological parent can. Love is not based on biology. Many loving relationships are between individuals who are not related to each other, such as husbands and wives. The love of a parent comes from preparing for a child and selflessly nurturing and caring for that child.

A birth mother can reclaim her child after adoption. Once a birth mother’s rights have been terminated, she cannot reclaim her child. Cases of birth parents obtaining custody after adoption are extremely rare and are exaggerated by the media.

After a child has been placed, a birth mother cannot have any contact with the child. Adoption practices have changed over the years. Today most birth mothers have some contact with their children. Arrangements are agreed upon by the birth mother and the adoptive parents and are based upon the needs and desires of all concerned.

Children who were adopted are more likely to have physical or emotional challenges. It is impossible to predict how any child will turn out, whether biological or adopted. Generally, children who were adopted as infants are as emotionally healthy as children who were not adopted. Children who were adopted when older may have challenges resulting from adverse conditions in their early lives, such as neglect, abuse, or lack of attachment. These challenges do not result from the adoption itself.

Birth mothers never recover from the emotional pain of placing a child for adoption. Birth mothers who choose adoption go through a grieving process, which is a healthy way of dealing with loss. But most birth mothers also report finding peace in the knowledge that they did all in their power to provide the best life possible for their child. They find that the experience gives them the strength and confidence to face other challenges throughout their lives.

Grace is 6 months

2010-11-05T22:42:00.003-07:00

Grace munching on her bear

She loves to hold his hand. :)

She knows she is the cutest thing ever. :)

"I'm cute. Me Me Me!"

She is such a smiley little girl. :) I just can't believe how big she is!

I'm a day late on this, but hey, it's an improvement. :) I cannot believe OUR darling little daughter is 6 months! (Robby always comments on how I call Grace MY daughter instead of OUR so I'll try to be better at that) ;) Grace is constantly entertaining me. She is quite the little talker. She will make babbling noises for 10 minutes straight and will go longer if you talk back to her. She also loves to interrupt Robby and my conversations and will compete with us. If we start talking louder, she will start babbling louder. Her favorite noise to make... DADADADADA. I've been trying to teach her Mom, but she will respond back with an even louder DA! :) She's definitely a Daddy's girl. She is rolling around like crazy. Her favorite toy is stacking cups and even started to scoot across the floor so that she could reach them. She moved a whole foot without rolling. I was pretty impressed. :) She is eating solid foods like a CHAMP! Her favorite is Peas and Carrots mixed together. She tolerates Apples and Pears and she likes Sweet Potatoes. We are still working on Bananas but for now she just lets them dribble out of her mouth instead of swallowing them. But it's a vast improvement from the gagging she used to do. She is slowly growing her hair back but it's REALLY light. Her eyes are also starting to change color. Right now I think they will be Hazel and they are seriously beautiful. :) We have started a countdown on the number of days left until Grace's finalization (25) and we are just so excited! :) I can't believe how much my life has changed in the last year. It is just incredible to me. Life is so wonderful and we are so in love with our little darling miracle Grace.

Thoughts

2010-11-05T12:07:00.001-07:00

I was at church on Sunday and one of my Primary children asks me why I had to adopt Grace. I told her that I couldn't have children, that my tummy didn't work right. She then asked how I got Grace. I told her that a young woman grew Grace in her tummy and placed her in our family. She then asked "Why?" I had to stop for a second because in all honesty, how do you explain pregnancy out of wedlock to a 7 year old? I told her that Grace's birth mom was not married and she wanted Grace to have a mommy and a daddy and be sealed to them in the temple. She asked me if Grace's birth mom was married yet. I smiled and said not yet, but she's looking. :) Then she asks, "When Grace's birth mom gets married, will you give Grace back?" I explained how Grace will be officially ours and she will be sealed to us for Eternity. She stopped the questions at this point but it made me really have to think about how I'm going to explain adoption not only to other children, but to my own. This will definitely be something I learn as I go and something I'm researching into. Wish I had all the answers but I guess that is what this life is about. Learning and growing.

The Adoption Decision

2010-11-04T09:57:00.001-07:00

Here is a WONDERFUL story from LDS.org. You can find lots of articles about adoption. I have read every one of them and cried through nearly all of them.

A 19-year-old unwed mother, whom we’ll call Charlotte, recently placed her baby girl for adoption through LDS Family Services. She shared her difficult experience with the New Era. Charlotte realizes that her violation of the law of chastity has complicated her life. But she has taken the necessary steps to receive, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, forgiveness and healing of spirit. This article focuses on her adoption decision, not on the process of her repentance.

I can still remember the day I found out I was pregnant. I was filled with dread and shock and fear. When I told my boyfriend the test was positive, we both sat in silence for a long time.

He finally hugged me, but I was too shocked to cry. I remember saying, “So what’s next? Should we get married?”

He was just as shocked as I was. He asked me if there were any other options besides marriage. I was upset by that because I assumed he was referring to abortion, which was out of the question.

A few days after I found out I was pregnant, I decided to tell my mom. It was a Sunday night, and we were lying down in the family room, tired after a long weekend of moving. Suddenly I said, “Mom, I need to tell you something.”

She asked, “What?”

I hesitated, then said, “I’m pregnant.”

She didn’t cry at first, but after we started talking, she started to cry but stayed calm enough for us to talk. I had been afraid she would be upset, but she was loving and supportive.

My mom later told my dad, and he came into my room and hugged me and offered his love and support. Just weeks before I found out I was pregnant, he had given me a birthday card in which he wrote that he was proud of me. I remember reading that card and being sad at the thought of disappointing him.

As the days passed, Charlotte started thinking of her options: to get married, to be a single parent, or to place her baby for adoption. She determined that a successful marriage was not possible for her, so she followed her doctor’s advice to go to LDS Family Services to discuss her options. Charlotte started seeing a counselor there named Kathy (name has been changed).

For a couple of weeks, Kathy and I talked about single parenting. She gave me a lot of articles and worksheets that dealt with the emotional, physical, and financial aspects of raising a child. I knew my parents would help support my baby and me, but it was scary to think, “What if I had to do it on my own?”

We discussed the pros and cons of single parenting. “Where would I live?” “Would the baby be a source of contention between me and my parents?” “Would I work full time?” “What about child care?” and so on.

We discussed how I might have to live with my parents and how girls struggle with that. Young mothers worry about their mothers taking over and being the mother of the child, and that can cause a lot of contention between the two. I also wondered if I would be able to go to college if I were a single mom. I would probably have to work full time, which wouldn’t make it easy to go to school.

Kathy asked me what appealed to me about single parenting. As I thought about it, all my reasons for choosing to be a single parent were selfish. They all boiled down to the fact that I’d have my baby with me. The problem with that is, I knew she wasn’t just mine. My baby was Heavenly Father’s child.

In my next couple of appointments with Kathy, we talked about adoption and how that process works. Finally, after weeks of meeting with Kathy, I felt that I had a good idea of what was involved with adoption and with single parenting.

Being a single parent would be hard, as would placing my baby for adoption. So I prayed about this decision continually. I put off deciding to place my baby for adoption because it was a difficult decision I didn’t want to make right away.

I came to the decision to place my baby for adoption after months of soul searching, deep thought, and lots of prayer. It took me a long time to feel like I had an answer. Even when I knew I had an answer, I sometimes wanted to not follow it. But I knew it was what I needed to do.

One night I was looking at one of my favorite pictures of the Savior. It shows Him with a little boy sitting on His knee looking up at Him. As I looked at that picture I could imagine my own child sitting up in heaven on the Lord’s knee. I realized that my baby would be coming to me straight from God’s arms. I began to realize the worth of the soul I was carrying. It was easy at that moment for me to forget my own cares and concerns and see the bigger picture. I knew I needed to place my baby for adoption, so I began to pray for the strength to be able to do it.

At my next meeting with Kathy, I told her my decision.

After deciding on adoption, Charlotte met with her bishop.

I put off talking to my bishop for a long time because I felt like I needed to know what I was doing and, as silly as this sounds, I felt like I wasn’t worthy to talk to him. It would have been better if I had talked with him months earlier, but my emotions were in turmoil. I was embarrassed about breaking the law of chastity, angry at myself and my boyfriend for the mistake we had made, and resentful about being pregnant. I was confused and just didn’t feel ready to talk with my bishop.

But then, a few months before I was due, my bishop called me in to see him. I took the opportunity to confess, and he heard me with compassion. He also helped confirm that adoption was right for me and my baby. Immediately after talking to him, I asked myself, “Why didn’t I do that earlier?!” Had I talked to him earlier, he would’ve been such a help to me throughout my decision-making and repentance process. Instead, I was punishing myself and holding myself back from receiving revelation through him.

Having decided to place her baby for adoption, Charlotte started looking at profiles of adoptive parents. Adoptive parents give LDS Family Services a collage of family pictures, a letter to the birth parents, and an information sheet about themselves.

After four or five weeks of looking at profiles, I narrowed them down to two families I was considering and praying about. One family seemed fun, an adorable family. But when I read the other family’s letter, I felt the Spirit so strongly. I felt like I knew the adoptive parents before I met them.

I had been praying to know which family to choose. It was hard to get an answer to my prayers. I felt as though the Lord wasn’t going to give me a really strong answer because He wanted me to make the decision. So I did, and I knew it was right because of that spirit I felt when I read the family’s letter.

About a month before I gave birth, I wrote the family a letter saying I had chosen them and wanted them to pray about being the parents of my baby. I got an answer from them in three days. I guess they didn’t need to pray about it as long as I did! They said they knew the decision was right the moment they read my letter.

We met each other a few weeks before I gave birth, and we bonded immediately. At LDS Family Services, my parents and I met the adoptive parents and their six-year-old daughter. We visited for about two hours, talking and getting to know each other. The day after we met each other, they wrote me a letter saying how good they felt about everything. They said it was an answer to their prayers.

After I gave birth to my baby girl, I had a couple days with her to myself. The night before the placement was hard. I was holding the baby, thinking, “How am I going to do this? Will I be able to do this?” I was praying for strength.

The next step was placement, the meeting at LDS Family Services when the birth mother gives the baby to the adoptive parents. Charlotte’s parents and sister came with her, and the adoptive couple’s parents were there too.

The first one to hold my baby was the adoptive family’s six-year-old daughter. I wanted my baby to have a sister, so I thought it was important that she hold her baby sister first. Our families then spent an hour talking, getting acquainted, and taking pictures.

At the end of our visit, I held my baby for the last time and then gave her to her adoptive mom. I felt a sense of relief and knew that I was doing the right thing. I saw love and joy on the parents’ faces. It was great for them to get their baby, but I could see pain in their eyes for me. I knew they could feel my sacrifice. I’ll never forget the look in their eyes as I gave them a hug and left. They were so grateful.

I didn’t really feel sad—until that night, when the shock had passed. That night was the hardest part of the process for me. My thoughts were racing, and I was very emotional. I was wondering if my daughter was eating regularly. In the hospital she didn’t have an appetite. I wondered if she was crying or if she was content.

The next day, Kathy came to my house with a letter and a packet of pictures from the adoptive family. The letter answered all the questions that had been racing through my mind the night before. I felt better immediately.

Six months after Charlotte placed her baby for adoption, she says:

It has been a gradual healing process for me, both spiritually and emotionally. Every week seems to get better. I feel more confidence in my relationship with the Lord, and I’m still getting letters and pictures from the adoptive family. I have gone back to college full time and back to work part time.

Placing my baby for adoption was hard, but I felt it was right. I was guided by the Spirit. It’s amazing how it worked out so well.

To learn how LDS Family Services can help, visit www.itsaboutlove.org or call 1-800-537-2229. All of the services are free and do not require a bishop’s referral. Those dealing with morality problems should actively seek the counsel of their bishop.

Teen Mothers and Adopted Children

• Young women who place their babies for adoption are more likely to complete high school and go on to higher education. They are more likely than single mothers to have a job and less likely to live in poverty or receive government help. They are also less likely to get pregnant again before they’re married.

• Children who are raised by a mother and a father are less likely to be involved in crime or pre-marital sexual behavior. They are more likely to develop better intellectually, emotionally, and psychologically.

• Children of unwed mothers who keep their babies have more problems later in life than those who are adopted. They are more likely to have a child out of wedlock, drop out of high school, and have emotional or behavioral problems.

• Teen mothers are not able to give themselves or their children as many opportunities in life. They usually don’t have the financial or emotional resources that children need to grow up to be happy, successful adults.

Open Adoption

2010-11-03T06:00:00.003-07:00

I get a lot of questions about Open Adoption. It's a fairly new thing but Robby and I felt really strongly that we should have one. I knew that if I were a birth mother or father, I would want to be able to not just believe my child was being loved, but I would want to know it. I would want to see it.

I also wanted our children to be able to have their questions about their birth families answered by their birth families. I can tell Grace a billion times that Kayla loved her and that is why Kayla placed her with us, but I know Grace would always wonder. I love having Kayla and Austin be able to be there to answer her questions and to be able to show her love.

And because I love moments like this...

I am SO grateful for 2 people who were willing to put their own wants aside and do what they felt was best for Grace. They are incredibly amazing people. I love them both dearly.

If you have questions, feel free to ask!

Adoption Stories

2010-11-02T06:00:00.001-07:00

Want to hear some great adoption stories? Go HERE. Don't forget to have the tissues handy.

Halloween

2010-11-01T08:42:00.003-07:00

I love this outfit. :) Daddy is SO under Grace's spell. She definitely has him whipped! :)

There is a little cat on the bum. :) I bought the cute bow and headband too. :)

This is one of my favorite faces she makes. She's such a cheeseball. :)

This is how she almost always smiles. Her mouth has to be WIDE open. I love it.

She has learned to spit. This is her practicing her new talent.

I am such a terrible mom. Lol. I didn't get a single picture of the whole family dressed for Halloween! I know, right? Terrible. But to be honest, I spent months trying to come up with a costume for the 3 of us and I had nothing. So 30 minutes before the ward Trunk or Treat, I was scrounging around the house trying to find something for Robby and I to wear. Grace was dressed as a cute little cow and I couldn't believe how many comments we got on how cute she was. Ok, I can believe it because she is seriously the cutest baby ever. :) Robby went as a Soccer Player. He had a soccer jersey from his mission and he carried around my soccer ball from high school. I went as a leopard. I wore ears and a tail and painted on some whiskers. Hopefully next year we will have a cute picture of the 3 (or more depending if we are chosen again) of us and we will be dressed SUPER cute! :)

National Adoption Month

2010-11-01T08:20:00.003-07:00

November is National Adoption Month! The R House gave everyone involved in the adoption world a challenge to write about adoption everyday for the month of November. So, I'm going to attempt this challenge and write about my love for adoption, the myths surrounding adoption, and anything else I can think of that is adoption related. Feel free to share stories with me or if you would like to write to me so I can include your story, feel free to write me at robbyandangeeadopt@gmail.com.

It was a year ago yesterday that our wonderful Bishop asked us if we would be willing to talk to a young woman in our ward who was expecting. He wanted us to just share our feelings on adoption and hopefully be able to persuade her to place her child since she was not married and marriage was not an option for them. I, of course, said I would love to talk to her. He passed on our information to her and a few weeks later we got a call.... But I'll leave that for another day. :)

Grace's birth mom Kayla comes to visit

2010-10-20T11:59:00.003-07:00

I love having an open adoption. Kayla was able to come and just visit with Grace. At first, Grace pulled her normal "YOU'RE NOT MOM!!!" routine, but after a little while of me sitting right next to Kayla, and reassuring her I wasn't going anywhere, Grace warmed right up.

Grace Eating Solids

2010-10-12T19:53:00.002-07:00

I made Grace her first baby food! I made some organic sweet potatoes. I peeled them, boiled them, and then I put them in my Blendtec Blender. Then I fed them to my sweet little baby! :)

Here she is, smiling at daddy, totally ready for some food!

Opening her mouth WIDE for some yummy food.

Trying to grab the bowl and spoon. :)

All done and All Messy! :)

Holy Cow! My baby is 5 months!

2010-10-04T20:49:00.004-07:00

I cannot believe how fast this is going by! Grace is officially 5 months old. She is definitely showing a LOT of personality. :) She lost ALL of her hair (sadly) and it is starting to grow back and is a lot lighter. Her eyes change colors every day. One day they look like they will be brown, others they look like they will be green, and others hazel. They still have a hint of blue around the edges but I'm 99% positive they will not be blue. She LOVES to smile and laugh. Anytime someone laughs around her, you are guaranteed she will laugh too. She loves to be center of attention but prefers to do that while in mom's arms. She likes watching TV (I know, it's horrible) and her favorite thing to watch with Mom is the Office. :) She doesn't really like Disney Movies which will need to change and quickly. ;) She still takes a binky and has started snuggling with a "lovey" (it's a small blanket that is really soft). She HATES going to sleep and would much rather play with mom all day long. She would much rather see the world than cuddle and she LOVES looking at herself in the mirror. She is still only on formula and I'm anxiously waiting feeding her solids. She looks like she might be getting teeth soon but I've been thinking that for months. :) She is still tall and skinny. Last appointment (at about 4.5 months) she was 13 lbs. 7 oz. and 26.5 inches long. She has begun to figure out that the bow on her head can be taken off and eaten. Haha. She loves reading stories and helps momma turn the pages. She will almost always smile when mom sings, especially when it's a Glee song. She loves daddy more than anyone else and will always give him a smile (and usually a giggle). Everyone who sees her says that she is the cutest baby ever (which I have to agree with). :) She definitely keeps me busy but I love every minute with her!

Also, we have a date! Grace's finalization will be on November 30, 2010 at 9:00 am. This means that she will be officially ours and that she will have our last name and a new birth certificate with our name on it as her parents. We will also then be able to seal her to us in the temple so she will be ours for Eternity.

Craziness

2010-10-01T15:09:00.003-07:00

Life with a baby is always crazy. :) Grace is a really tough sleeper. She despises sleep and would much rather be playing (especially if it's with mommy or daddy). She is one of the giggliest babies ever though. You can just say "Hi" to her and she will just start cracking up. She is so much fun. But free time is little so that's why I hardly ever blog these days. I would much rather catch up on sleep. :) Here's a cute little picture of Grace in her Halloween PJs. We're still working on what the family will be for Halloween but we'll keep you posted. :)

Disneyland

2010-09-27T10:53:00.003-07:00

Grace all ready to go play.

We were just looking at toys and showed Grace this Minnie. She seriously started laughing and reaching for it. I gave it to her and instantly she was talking and laughing. I took it away from her to pay for it, and she screamed. Lol. The lady at the store took the tag off so we could give it to her right away. She sat in her stroller talking to Minnie for the next 30 minutes. It was the cutest thing ever. :)

The whole family in front of the castle. This sling was SO awesome to carry her around in the whole time. She did get a little heavy by the end of the day but she slept in it every time she was supposed to nap.

Grace's first Mickey Ears and meeting Mickey for the first time. She still has some room to grow in those ears. :) They have a crown on them and say Princess. :) And that's what she is.

At the entrance to Disneyland. I love our little family! :)

We took Grace for her first trip to Disneyland from 9/23 - 9/25. It was exhausting but we had so much fun and can't wait to take her again. :)

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

2010-08-14T21:17:00.003-07:00

Probably one of my favorite pictures of Grace. She loves to laugh and smile at me.

I was in the mall today shopping with Grace and this sweet little girl came up to me and asked to see my baby. I showed her Grace and she was just ooohing and aweing (of course). She kept coming up to me and asking to see her, hold her, and touch her. She was 5 and just the sweetest little thing. Then she asked me if Grace grew in my tummy. I know this is a normal question for 5 year olds to ask and I'm so happy that it didn't pain me one bit. I told this little girl that I adopted my daughter and that she grew in her birth mother's tummy and her birth mother gave her to me to be a mommy. This young girl's mom had actually thought about placing her daughter before she was born but with all the emotions surrounding pregnancy decided to parent her daughter. I was able to share my testimony of adoption with this mother and her sweet daughter and let her know how wonderful open adoption is and how grateful I am for Grace's birth parents. It was such a sweet moment for me. I am normally a shy person around strangers but I can go on for hours with anyone about adoption and the joy it has brought into my life.

Grace is growing so much. She weighs 12 lbs, 1 oz and 25.5 inches long. She is almost always smiling and loves to laugh. She is very opinionated at 3 months and knows exactly what she likes and doesn't like. I've used this to my advantage when we go shopping and have her pick out her own clothes. She will coo at things she likes and scowl at things she doesn't. She loves being held and loves to see the world. One of her favorite times of the day is story time and she loves to hold my hand and help me turn the pages. She loves when I sing to her. She is starting to tolerate bath time but still does not like being naked after bath time. She hates falling asleep and would stay up all day long if I would let her. She loves her daddy and will just giggle and coo at him, even when she is supposed to be eating. :) She brings so much joy and laughter into our house. She was sleeping one day and I walked into her room and stared at her and saw a flash of what she would look like as a little girl. I saw her dark hair surrounding her sweet face and was overcome with emotion. I feel so blessed and humbled that I was chosen to be her mother. We pray daily for her birth parents and thank our Heavenly Father for sending them to us.

I feel prompted to say this so I will. :) We are hoping to add to our family again through adoption. We have our adoption blog and if any of you know any expectant mothers who are thinking of an adoption plan, we would love to speak to them. We want as many children as Heavenly Father has in store for us and know that our friends and family can guide us to them.

Dancing Gracie

2010-08-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

We had just finished bath time and lotion time. Grace HATES getting lotioned up (well, more she hates being cold) so I turn on music and sing to her and she stays happier. Well this song came on and immediately she started dancing. I grabbed the camera and this is what I got. :) It's a long video but my favorite part is at the end when the song changes and immediately she gets a pouty face. :)

Then and Now

2010-08-06T17:45:00.003-07:00

Grace has been in our home for 3 whole months. I can't believe how fast time has gone by! She used to be this tiny little thing

And now she is smiling, laughing, cooing, and moving around like crazy.

I am so happy I get to be her mom. Every little milestone just brings a happy tear to my eye. It also makes me remember her sweet birth parents and the loving sacrifice they did for her. She is the light of my life and I love her more than words could ever describe. And my how she has grown! :)

Cold Risotto

2010-08-05T19:33:00.002-07:00

Here is a great story that a WONDERFUL birth mom came up with. Her name is Jill and she placed her baby Roo last year. She is a great writer, a wonderful adoption advocate, and just an all around great person. You can find her blog here. Hope you enjoy her story as much as I did. Thanks Jill!

Today, I have a story for you. It's made-up but I think it's a good story. I promise there's a point to it. Here it goes. (My sincerest apologies if your name happens to be Susan. It's a lovely name.)

Once upon a time, a woman - let's call her Susan - went to a restaurant. Susan was very, very hungry. Some people might have thought she was stupid to go to a restaurant when most people cook for themselves, but that was Susan's business, not theirs, and for one reason or other, Susan was going to a restaurant for dinner.

Susan's waitress was very friendly right off the bat. She made Susan feel welcome and kept her water glass full and took her order and promised it would be out shortly. Excited and, as I said, very hungry, Susan eagerly awaited her risotto. She was so hungry, she thought this risotto was going to be the best thing in the world. As she waited, she had visions of risotto dancing in her head and all she could think of was how happy she'd be once the waitress brought out her dish.

Some time passed, and suddenly the waitress was getting as crabby as Susan was. Finally, after half an hour or more, the waitress slammed down a dish of cold risotto and the bill and stalked away. Susan was stunned. And the risotto, in addition to being rather cold, was quite possibly the most disgusting dish of risotto ever served in the history of food.

Susan was, understandably, appalled. She complained to management. The manager was appalled as well, and tried to explain things. Shortly after Susan's order had been placed, the chef quit. The waitress received a phone call from her boyfriend, who dumped her - on the phone, and while she was at work! The manager assured Susan that her dinner was an exception, not the norm. This was a top-notch restaurant with a good reputation. He offered to comp the dinner and pushed a gift card at Susan in the hopes that she would give them another try and see that their restaurant was not as bad as all that.

But Susan was unable to get past her cold risotto experience. She told every person she knew about it. She blogged about what a horrible restaurant it was, and how no one should ever eat there. When people mentioned to her that they'd eaten there and had a lovely time, she railed at them that they must be stupid not to see what a terrible restaurant it was, and she harassed those people repeatedly and with great force about what a bad decision they'd made. She ridiculed them for their naiveté. She found their personal blogs and left numerous comments about what idiots they were to even consider eating at that restaurant again. In Susan's opinion, this restaurant should be closed down immediately and not allowed to open again until changes were made to ensure that no one would ever be served cold risotto again - in fact, they shouldn't even serve risotto. Susan decided to make it her life's work to speak out against the restaurant, and she couldn't understand why the whole world didn't join in her crusade.

Now, you're probably wondering why on earth I am blathering on about snippy Susan and her cold risotto. Susan sounds like a real piece of work, doesn't she? Because really, who could have such an ego as to assume that if they had a bad experience somewhere, no one else should even consider that place?

Let's change the subject for a second, and then I'll get back to Susan.

Sorry, that's a terrible segue. Here's a better one.

That is an awesome Segway.

Anyway.

I have a great experience with adoption. I think it's wonderful. I might not tell the entire world to eat at this restaurant called adoption, but if I knew someone was hungry and didn't know where to eat, I would certainly tell them to consider eating there. I would tell them about my experience so they would know that, even though it serves up the occasional dish of cold risotto, eating out isn't a hazardous thing. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.

But I have noticed that there are a number of Susans in the adoption world - on-line, in any case, and they are just as snippy and unyielding and very much against the institution that they feel wronged them so much. They got cold risotto. And that's not fair, and I won't argue that point. What I take exception to is these Susans (allow me to apologize if your name happens to be Susan) who go on-line and tell hungry people that they need to learn how to cook because restaurants are inherently wrong. I don't like hungry people being told they're going to get food poisoning if they eat out.

You know what? I can't stop these people. I know there are people out there for whom adoption has not been a good thing. I feel sorry for them. The things that have happened to some people are unfair, wrong, and shouldn't happen to anyone. But I get tired of them insisting that adoption is a bad thing, refusing to believe that it can be an amazing and wonderful thing, simply because it wasn't for them.

Adoption was the best thing in the world for my little Roo. It was the best thing in the world for my mother. And it was the best thing in the world for probably close to 100 little children I can think of just off the top of my head. I'm sure there are countless others for whom it was also the best. We're all happy with our risotto. We are proof that the restaurant isn't a bad place, that the risotto isn't always cold and that, just the opposite, it's frequently the best dish on the menu.

Susan's risotto was bad, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let her tell me that my risotto was a mistake and that I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life and that I "lost" my appetite to risotto.

For every horrible, traumatic, food-poisoning story you hear about adoption, there are probably ten thousand stories or the best dinner ever that no one ever tells. Cold risotto makes for good news. A cozy family meal interests no one.

Is adoption always the right, best, most wonderful thing in the world? Nope. Because it involves people, and people are imperfect. But I think each hungry person should be able to decide for him- or herself how best to have dinner.

Fives

2010-08-02T16:02:00.002-07:00

5 categories and 5 answers (not counting the tag)

Favorite TV Shows:
1: Glee
2: Bones
3: So You Think You Can Dance
4: Veronica Mars
5: Gilmore Girls

Favorite Foods:
1: Guacamole
2: Veggie Pizza
3: Spaghetti
4: Kettle cooked chips Salt n Vinegar
5: Crunchy peanut butter on pretty much anything

Favorite Movies:
1: Harry Potter
2: Eclipse (seriously loved it)
3: Star Trek (hate the tv show, love the newest movie)
4: Avatar
5: Juno

Pet Peeves:
1: People who use the wrong adoption language. My daughter was Placed in our home, not given up or given away. Vent over. :)
2: People who drive in the fast lane and don't drive fast
3: People who use their phones, do their makeup or smoke, all while driving - even worse if there are kids in the car
4: People who are late. If a party starts at 7, be there at 7.
5: People who ask me where I get my protein if I don't eat meat. Where do you get your vitamins if you don't eat enough veggies?

(I'm really whiny today. I blame it on the hormones.)

Looking forward to:
1: Grace's adoption being final

2: Having Grace sealed to us in the temple
3: Disneyland Challenge in September
4: Christmas and being with my whole family
5: Bringing more kids into our family through adoption

I'm typing all of this one handed because I finally got Grace to sleep, in my arms. :) Not going to tag anyone because I'm lazy but if you do it, great! Message me so I can read it!

Grace in her Bumbo

2010-07-26T21:58:00.003-07:00

Here are some of Grace sitting in her Bumbo. Her Great Grandma Manley and Great Aunt Cathy gave her gift cards so she picked out this at the store and loves it. Thanks Great Grandma and Great Aunt Cathy!

Teddy Bear Pictures

2010-07-26T21:13:00.004-07:00

This is only a little late... Ok so just a week shy of her next month, but here is Grace at 2 months with her teddy. :)

Grace Rolls Over

2010-07-26T20:17:00.003-07:00

Grace was starting to wiggle around during tummy time so I ran to grab the video camera. And this is what I got. After a lot of coaxing, Grace finally rolled over! :) She ended up doing it again right after so I was pretty excited. Hopefully this means lots of rolling, though that means I need to start doing a better job at baby proofing. :)

Just Because...

2010-07-12T21:56:00.003-07:00

I can't believe that tomorrow marks 10 weeks since Grace "graced" us with her presence (tee hee). In some ways it feels like just yesterday. In other ways, it feels like she has always been with us. Our home is definitely starting to look like we have a baby. As I look around from my couch, I see bottles, blankets, a bumbo, baby clothes waiting to be put in the wash, and pictures galore of our sweet angel. Yes there are a few too many dirty dishes in the sink and my pillows are not in the right place on the couch, but I am so happy for this. Being a mom has brought so much joy to my heart and my life. I love waking up and walking into her room and removing her little swaddle blanket and watching her eyes pop open and put a big smile on her face. It just warms my heart.

In other news, Grace at her last doctor's appointment weighed 11 lbs and was 24.5 inches long. She is in the 50th percentile for weight and 90th for height. She is going to be a very tall little girl. It's weird to think about now, but it makes me wonder if she will one day pass me up in height like I passed my mom up. Luckily I have another 12 years to put that off! :)

Grace is also now teething. She wants to chew on everything. Her bottles, her blankets, and her favorite, my finger. She drools like crazy now. It's so hard to see her in pain. I'm hoping teething doesn't last too long and that her teeth come in soon. Though I know that is going to bring a whole new adventure.

We also learned that Grace is allergic to dairy and soy formulas which both gave her very bad reflux and constipation. We are now trying Goats milk and she seems to be liking it. Hopefully it will help her tummy and she'll start being her happy little self again soon.

And for the most exciting news... GRACE ROLLED OVER! She was having tummy troubles and wouldn't sleep and was crying so I decided to give her a warm bath to help her tummy. She immediately calmed down and enjoyed her bath (this is a new thing for her, she used to HATE bathtime so we are pretty excited). After her bath, we got her out to dry her off and lotion her up. This is the worst part of her day in her opinion. She hates being cold (good thing we live in the warmest state ever). So she was crying while I lotioned her so I was doing it as quickly as possible. I flipped her onto her tummy so I could lotion her back and her cute little bum and she pushed with her arm and just flipped back over onto her back. I couldn't believe it. Robby and I both started getting so excited and we kind of scared Grace and made her start crying even worse. Whoops. :) I didn't take any pictures because she was just out of her bath but it was too exciting not to write down.

Other than that, I am just enjoying holding her every second possible. She doesn't enjoy nap time (or sleeping in general) so I've held her through quite a few naps so that she can get some sleep. She is very spoiled and I'm almost positive that she has changed her cry recently when she really wants to be held to sound more like her cry of when she is in pain. She is great at sticking out her pouty lip and getting mommy and daddy to do anything for her. She definitely rules the house but I'm too in love with her to care.

Happy 4th of July

2010-07-04T22:25:00.002-07:00

Love,

Robby, Angee, and Grace

Giveaway

2010-07-03T10:55:00.001-07:00

I really want to win this one! Grace would sleep so much better! :) Check it out if you want to learn more.

http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/07/product-review-snuggleu-giveaway.html

Grace's Room

2010-06-23T11:23:00.004-07:00

Here are some pictures of Grace's room. It's not finished yet so it's a work in progress. :)

A few picture frames I made with my favorite picture of Grace in it. :)

My rocking chair. Sam the bear has a nice seat. My friend Kirsten made the quilt and I LOVE it!

This is her bookshelf. The bottom shelf actually has books on it. :)

Her dresser/changing table.

My FAVORITE thing in her room (other than Grace herself). My best friend Kristin made this for me. We already ran out of pegs for headbands though and I haven't even bought any yet! Lol. I LOVE putting things in Grace's hair, whether a bow or flower. I can't wait until the hats my mom bought her actually fit her tiny little head. :)

This is the view from the door.
Her crib. I need something above it and was thinking of putting her name in block letters above it. Just got to find time/energy to do it. :)

Grace is Smiling :)

2010-06-23T08:24:00.002-07:00

Grace started giving social smiles a couple days ago. It's been so much fun. It's so hard to put her down for her nap because she just looks at me and gives a huge grin. She makes me laugh constantly. We have so much fun together. I love this onesie too! She really does love all her aunties (and she has quite a few with her aunts and birth aunts). She is one loved little girl. On another note, Grace is sleeping SO well. She sleeps from about 10:30 until 5 or 6 every night. She also takes 2 hours naps every 3 hours. It feels like she's always sleeping but it sure makes her much happier when she's awake. I love this little girl so much and so glad that she is here to complete our little family!

5 years in pictures

2010-06-18T12:58:00.019-07:00

5 years ago, on June 17th, I married my best friend. I was so in love with him then but it doesn't even begin to compare to the love I feel for him now. He is such a wonderful husband and father. We have been there for each other for all our sorrows and for all our joys. I am so grateful that we are sealed for Eternity thanks to the temple.

On our wedding day

On our honeymoon in Nauvoo at a family reunion. Yes, with my whole family. Not much of a honeymoon I can tell you that, but it was fun to see the Nauvoo temple, and it was free. :)

Disneyland shortly after we were married. What was I thinking with the haircut? Yikes.

Robby and I at a service project for one of my classes.

Our first anniversary we went to Vegas. We had a BLAST! We consider this our honeymoon since we didn't have a real one.

Robby got me a hamster! I begged for a pet for months and this is what I got. Her name was Lily. She lived for a few short weeks and then passed away. I literally sobbed for days. Note to self, don't get a hamster.

Robby had a conference for work in San Diego so I went with him. We had a blast and it was fun just to get away.

Disneyland yet again. We seriously love this place!

Pretty sure this is Disneyland too. Robby went to New York for work a week after Christmas so to make up for me not being able to go, he took me to Disneyland. That's true love. :)

Robby and I with our twin nephews, David and Erik. We seriously love these guys! This was on their blessing day. It was so fun to be there and we really miss them while they are in Texas.

Another baby blessing but for Robby's cousin. We went to celebrate their little boy being blessed. Funny, they moved to Texas too.

Robby and I on his birthday. This was shortly after finding out we were infertile so it wasn't a very pleasant time. I can distinctly remember forcing the smile because I had been crying earlier.

Back at Disneyland! I'm seriously dying to go back right now and can't wait to take our little Gracie-Boo.

This was done for a photoshoot that we won in a giveaway. It was so great to take pictures as a couple since we hadn't done that since we were first married.

Christmas lights. Robby got the courage to ask me out after a FHE at the temple lights so it always holds a special place in my heart. :)

Robby and I at Disneyland, again. We were the first ones on the Tower of Terror for the day. We got to sign the book and Chip and Dale escorted us down there. It was so much fun!

Robby and I on our cruise to Mexico. We are already planning our next cruise. We had so much fun and it was a great way to spend some of our last weeks as just the two of us.

This is us at the hospital right after Grace was born. I can't even describe the love that we automatically felt for little Grace.

This is us with the birth parents, Kayla and Austin. We would not have Grace without their love and sacrifice. We are so grateful for them and love that they can continue to be in Grace's life and ours.

Our first family picture. We went to Green to celebrate Grace being ours. We love this little girl so much.

At the baseball game with Grace.

I can't believe it's been 5 whole years. I can't wait for the next 5, 10, 100, infinite years spent with Robby and Grace and all our future little munchkins.

Teddy Bear Pictures

2010-06-15T12:19:00.005-07:00

I know I just barely posted one of these but I just love watching Grace grow. :) I put her Newborn clothes away and was so excited. I'm sure that one day it will hit me that she is not our little tiny baby but I just love watching her get bigger. :) She is growing so fast but is becoming more fun everyday. I love having her interact with me and smile and coo. She is so much fun and I love her so much.

Grace at 3 days old. Look at those cute little chicken legs. :)

3 weeks old. Finally starting to get some rolls on her legs. :)

1 month old. Look at that chunky little belly. :)

6 weeks old. She keeps getting longer and bigger. :) Isn't her outfit adorable too? :)

Grace's first Baseball Game

2010-06-15T11:38:00.003-07:00

We got a great deal on tickets to a Diamondbacks game so we went on June 5th. Robby and I aren't big on watching sports but we actually had a lot of fun. I think being at the game is SO much better than watching it at home. It was Grace's first sporting event and we think she liked it. :)

This is pretty much what Grace did the whole time. Sleep. It was pretty funny. We woke her up to eat and she went right back to sleep. :)

This is the view from our seats. We were sitting by some crazy people though so that made it fun. They actually had the wave going around probably 3 times in a row. It was pretty funny.
Robby with his little Angel. Doesn't it look like she's smiling up at him? She loves her daddy!
The whole family. :)
The whole family again. We had such a fun time and can't wait to bring Grace back and take her on even more adventures. :)

Pictures of Grace

2010-06-15T10:58:00.003-07:00

I got some professional pictures done when Grace was 3 weeks old. You can check a few of them out at my friend Shannon's blog here http://bowbeniephotographie.blogspot.com/2010/06/for-momma-angee.html. She's done a WONDERFUL job and I can't wait to see more!

Teddy Bear Pictures

2010-06-05T12:57:00.007-07:00

This is Grace with her teddy bear Sam. We gave both Kayla and Austin have the exact same bear so they can watch as Grace gets bigger and be able to have something to compare her growth to. This is Grace with Sam at 3 days old.

This is Grace with Sam at 1 month. She's getting so much bigger!

The Story

2010-05-26T14:52:00.004-07:00

This is all of us leaving the hospital. The birth father, birth mother, me, Grace, and Robby

I know this is about 3 weeks late, but better late than never. :) Warning, this is a REALLY long post! :)

So, first I'll back it up to the weeks leading up to her miracle. The birth father was not wanting the adoption to go through and had filed for partial custody. We were hopeful that things would happen but after a series of events, we had given up hope. Robby and I prayed and spoke to our Bishop and felt that we should move forward and allow Kayla to move forward with parenting. We were heart broken but knew it was the right decision. So I began updating our adoption blog, networking again, and told my work that I wasn't going to be adopting. It was a really hard time for me and it was even harder for Kayla (which broke my heart more than my own sorrows). This all happened Wednesday night.

Friday came along and Robby and I decided to go out to dinner to celebrate being together and to help cheer us up. We get a call from Kayla's mom who tells us that the birth father is wanting to meet with Kayla to talk. We were shocked. He had previously said that he wouldn't talk to her until they were in court. (which turned out not to be him texting but his ex-girlfriend) We hung up and I felt a little hope and was trying to squash it. I really didn't want to get my hopes crushed again. I was still really raw and terrified of getting hurt. So we continued to eat and then we got another call from Kayla's mom. Apparently the birth father wanted us to come too. We were shocked. We agreed that we would go but were still trying not to hope. We were planning on just going to just support Kayla and help her.

We drove up to meet with the Birth Father and talked with his family. It was a little awkward at first but we quickly started talking. We had met most of the family the previous week but one of his sisters came in and was really confused at who we were. The birth father introduced us "This is Angee and Robby. They will be adopting my daughter." Our jaws all dropped. I started to tear up but held it back. We continued talking and the birth father agreed to sign papers and drop the case. A few days earlier (on the day that Robby and I decided that we should move on) the birth father had gotten really sick. Sick enough that he was going to go to the hospital but didn't have insurance. He realized that if he can't take himself to the doctor, doesn't have insurance or enough money to take care of his illness, how was he going to take care of a baby? He wanted what was best for his daughter and wanted her to be able to be sealed in the temple to a family.

We were so happy. We didn't want to tell anyone because we were trying to keep it as close as possible. We began getting things ready again and you couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I went to Kayla's doctor appointment on May 3rd to see how far she was progressing. She was 39 almost 40 weeks and we were hoping to be able to get her induced so the birth father's family could be apart of the placement ceremony. The doctor checked her and she was 20% effaced but was not dilated at all. The doctor said to plan on another week and could not schedule the induction. I finally just said "Fine! I'll be patient and wait until she's ready to come." So Kayla hung out with me that day and we got her pre-check in done. I cleaned the house and then I read. I ended up staying up until 11:30 reading The Host by Stephenie Meyer.

We get a call at 2:50 am. Luckily I didn't turn my phone on silent like I usually do. :) It was Kayla's mom letting us know that Kayla's water broke. Baby was going to come so they were heading to the hospital. Robby and I get up, shower and start getting ready. We get another call at 3:30 from Kayla's mom saying they were on the way to the hospital and her contractions were only 3 minutes apart. Robby and I were both shocked. We hurried up and drove to the hospital that was 45 minutes away. We get another call at about 4:00 from Kayla's mom, the contractions were closer together, and they couldn't find the hospital. Lol. They got off on the wrong street. :) We gave them better directions and they made it there at about 4:20. Robby and I arrived around 4:30am.

We sat in the waiting room while Kayla was checked into Triage and the contractions were about 2 minutes apart. She was checked and was dilated to a 6 at about 6:00 am. We got to go in and see her (after a couple LONG hours of waiting, luckily I had my book) and she was in so much pain. It was so hard seeing how much pain she was going through and knowing that I couldn't stop it or help. After another hour of her being in pain, they FINALLY gave her the epidural. She was SO much happier after that. :) Though she still didn't want the bands around her tummy. That was her least favorite part.

Around 9, Kayla was dilated to a 7.5 and wasn't progressing much more so they gave her some pitocin to speed up the process. At 11, she was dilated to a 10 and all the boys were kicked out of the room. At 11:35, Kayla felt the urge to push so she began to do some preliminary pushes to get baby in the birth canal. At around 11:50, Baby was ready to come out. The nurse told Kayla to stop pushing because the doctor was in the middle of a C-section and wouldn't be available for another 30 minutes. Kayla tried to stop for a couple minutes but baby was READY to come out. The nurse finally gave the ok and was ready to catch the baby. :) Kayla began pushing again and the baby was totally crowned. I was holding a leg for Kayla and was being the birth coach by counting. The baby was ready to come out and the doctor came in at about 12:05 pm. Kayla gave 1 and a half more pushes and out came Baby Girl's head. She had this magnificent full head of hair! It was DARK brown and Baby Girl's face was a little blue. She had the umbilical cord around her neck 2 times (and I was terrified, but interesting fact, Robby had his around his neck twice and mine was around my neck 3 times). Kayla pushed the rest of baby girl out in one push at 12:08 pm and she was beautiful. I cut the cord, though it took me 2 cuts. It is SLIPPERY! Lol.

They laid baby Girl on Kayla's chest and it was so amazing. I couldn't believe that this little girl was finally here. I felt so grateful to Kayla and the miracle she just had. All the boys (Robby, Kayla's step dad, and the birth father) were invited in and were able to see the sweet little princess. She was weighed and was 6lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long. She had the sweetest little cry. Robby and I hugged and cried. We felt so blessed and honestly I was in shock. I couldn't believe she was here. I was able to give her the first sponge bath (which she hated) and her first shampoo (which she LOVED!). We then bundled her up and she was passed around to me, then Kayla's mom, then the birth father, then Robby. It was incredible how much love there was in that room. It was so amazing.

Robby and I wanted to give Kayla and her family a little space and be able to love on Baby Girl. We went Chipotle and the whole time I was dying to get back. I felt this incredible pull to be back at the hospital. We got back and a few people came to visit and to meet this sweet little miracle. Around 9, everyone left except for me and Kayla and we were in charge of taking care of this little girl. It was really important to me that Kayla feel like she had the opportunity to love and care for Baby Girl during the hospital stay. I would get the bottles ready and then give her to Kayla to feed her. I hardly held Baby Girl at all during our hospital stay. And at this time, I really didn't feel officially her mom. I never called myself mom. I think I was still terrified something would go wrong. Irrational, but very real to me.

Before I go much further, I wanted to explain the name. We had talked about SO many names but could not decide on one. On the Sunday before she was born, Kayla called me and asked what I thought about Grace Michelle. I loved it! She was given to us only by the Grace of God and Michelle means Gift from God (and is also my middle name). I asked Robby and he liked Grace too (mostly because our favorite little girl that we baby sit, her name is Grace). Kayla's mom told us she always wanted to name one of her daughter's Grace growing up but ended up naming all her kids with K names so it didn't fit. :) We finally had a name so it was OK for Grace to show up.

We stayed at the hospital for 48 hours and then Grace was released to us for temporary foster care. The relinquishment papers cannot be signed by the birth parents until 72 hours after birth so it was a LONG 24 hours that we were at home. We went over to Kayla's family's house to allow them to spend time with her. It was so bitter sweet for me. I was so excited to finally be a mom, but I love Kayla and her family (and the birth father and his family) and HATED seeing them in pain. There were so many emotions running through me and it was really exhausting.

The next day, we went to LDS Family Services to meet Kayla and the birth father when the papers would be signed. I immediately went to Kayla and my heart was so broken for her. I wanted to heal her and make everything right but I knew I couldn't. So I prayed (and continue to pray) for her and the birth father that they will feel peace and love from our Heavenly Father and will continue to know that they made the right decision. We waited in a room for the papers to be finished signed and then it was our turn. I couldn't believe it. We signed some papers and then Grace was ours. I was in shock. I was so happy that I was finally a mom. I didn't cry the whole time we were there but we got home and I just snuggled Grace and I sobbed. I was so happy and in love with this sweet little Angel.

The next day we had a ceremony celebrating Kayla and Austin (the birth father) and letting them know what wonderful people they are. Almost all of Austin's family was there and Kayla's family was all there. Robby's brother came to support us. :) There was so much love in that room and the spirit was so strong. I sobbed so hard there. We gave Kayla a Willow Tree statue of an Angel signing love because she is our Angel and we, and Grace, love her so much. We also gave her a season of Buffy (one of her favorite TV shows) to help her during those hard times. We gave Kayla and Austin a picture of Grace in the outfit she wore the day of placement so they could always remember that day. We also gave Austin some books on tape so when he takes the long ride to come visit us (which we hope he does often) that he will have something to listen to.

We went home that day and couldn't believe that this little girl was finally ours. It was 4 years to I believe the week that we began our trial of infertility. I am so grateful for this trial that I have had. I am more understanding and more empathetic. I am glad that I can relate to so many woman who have infertility and can help them and understand them. And I would never have gotten Grace without my trial. She is my little Saving Grace and I love her so much. I am so grateful to have both of Grace's birth parents and families in our lives and her life. So many birth fathers do not show any care for their children and their children suffer from that. I'm so grateful that Austin loves Grace, that his family loves Grace and supported Austin in his decision to place her in our family. I'm so glad Grace will be able to know and love him through her life. And I love the full lips and dimples that she got from him.

And I am so grateful for Kayla. Without her, I would not be a mother. She loves Grace more than anything. I don't think anyone who has not placed a baby for adoption can fully understand the love and sacrifice that these women go through. But she loved her daughter so much, that she put Grace above her own needs and wants. Kayla would have struggled but I have no doubt she would have been able to do it. She is the most magnificent woman. She has been through more trials than anyone I have ever known. She is so strong and I love her like my own sister (which we call each other). She is amazing and I am so glad that she is in our lives. I am so grateful that Grace will know her and love her through her life. I am also glad I can help Kayla in my own little way by letting her see Grace and be able to help her heal. I know it's hard for her and I can see Kayla hurting, but I know that she knows she made the right decision and that brings me so much peace.

I love my little Grace and cannot wait until she will officially be in our forever family. We will be able to bless and seal her to us after finalization which usually happens at about 6 months. The past 3 weeks have flown by and I have enjoyed every second, including the long nights and even longer days. :) I am so blessed and truly humbled. I know that without my Heavenly Father and many answered prayers, Grace would not be in our home. I know that it was not me or anything I did (other than pray) that allowed Grace to join our family. It was all Him and I could not be more grateful.

Bliss

2010-05-10T21:30:00.002-07:00

Our first official family photo. :) It's at our favorite restaurant that we celebrate all the big events at.

Grace has been such a blessing in our lives. I PROMISE I will write the story, but I just wanted to write a couple things that I didn't want to forget. Our little girl loves to eat. Immediately upon burping, she leans back to get more food. She knows that once she burps, she gets to eat again. It's hilarious to watch. She wrinkles her forehead when she opens her eyes really wide. She makes the cutest squeaking noises while she eats and while she sleeps. She smacks her lips when we pull the bottle out of her mouth to burp her. She loves being swaddled but will do everything in her power to get her hands by her mouth, even if it means escaping the blanket and onesie that she is wearing. She LOVES being cuddled and if she could, she would sleep in someone's arms 24/7 (usually daddy's). She hates to be naked so bath time is not very pleasant. But she LOVES to have her hair washed and head rubbed. Robby and I fight over who gets to feed her and change her. I love dressing her up in the sweet pink outfits she has. We love her little pouty lip and her pinchable cheeks. She is the sweetest thing in the whole world! I love putting bows in all that glorious hair. She is our little Saving Grace and we love her so much.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:54:00.002-07:00

Words cannot describe how I felt today. The past 3 years on Mother's day have been SO hard. I never went until last year. I had this overwhelming feeling last year that it would be my last mother's day not being a mother. And it was. I feel so grateful that I was chosen by 2 wonderful birth parents and by my Heavenly Father to become a Mother. I could not be happier! Robby has seen how hard it has been on me for the past several years so he over compensated. :)

These are my pretty flowers. He picked them out all by himself! :) Usually I jump in and tell him which ones to get but I was busy picking out flowers for someone else. :)

Our new Flip Video camera. I'm so excited to start taking video and posting them for all of you! I know my parents are excited too!

I have been begging for the Glee CD on iTunes, so Robby bought me some gift cards. Some of these will probably be his too, but they were still all pretty in the package. :)

And probably my favorite gift ever, a Willow Tree figurine. It's called A New Hope. He picked it out while buying a gift for our wonderful birth mom and he couldn't have picked a better present. I am so grateful to be a mother and I'm so grateful for Kayla and the love that she has as a mother. And I'm especially grateful for Grace and the joy that she has brought into our home. She has only been home with us for a few days, and already my life has changed for the better. She brings such a sweet spirit into our home and we love her to pieces!

News

2010-05-07T21:07:00.003-07:00

I promise I will write the full story but since I can't keep the secret any longer, I have to tell.

Grace Michelle was born 5/4/2010 at 12:08 pm. She was 6 lbs. 14 oz and 20 inches. She was placed into our arms today by 2 loving birth parents who we love so much. We feel so blessed and humbled by their decision.

Temporary Home

2010-04-15T22:26:00.002-07:00

Kayla shared this on Facebook. Within seconds I was sobbing. Such a beautiful song and beautiful message.

Guess...

2010-04-15T09:14:00.002-07:00

I thought it would be fun to have a contest guessing when Baby Girl will make her official arrival and how big she will be when she arrives.

Her Estimated Date of Delivery is May 6th. 3 weeks and counting...

So leave a comment with the Date, time, weight, and height that you think Baby Girl will be.

Kayla is having that wonderful pregnancy glow right now and we had fun watching Baby Girl wiggle around in her belly last night.

On a side note, thank you all for praying and fasting with us this past week. We have felt so much peace and hope. We truly feel our Savior's love in this process and would do it all over again in a heart beat!

Vacation of a Lifetime

2010-04-08T08:23:00.011-07:00

I know you are all dying to hear about our fabulous cruise down the Mexican Riviera! Well, I won't disappoint! :) The pictures are HORRIBLY out of order but I'm too lazy to fix it! :)

This is Robby looking oh so macho in his helmet and PINK bandana! Everyone had pink but me.

On our little trip, we stopped by this canal. Our guide told us that there were alligators in the water. So of course we get out and take some pictures. I didn't want to get off of my ATV so Robby came by me to take pictures. Check out my AWESOME orange bandana!

Here we are without our yucky bandanas and helmets and enjoying the nice breeze. This was pre-sunburn! The only day we got burned was in Mazatlan and I'm definitely peeling from that day! This was our second shore excursion and was FABULOUS! We went ATVing through the city, agriculture, and on the beach. We got stuck once in the sand and had a few laughs.

This is in Cabo San Lucas. It was our last stop and by far the prettiest. We went on a little water taxi to view the sites and go to a little private beach that you can only reach by boat. When we got in the taxi, it was completely surrounded by other boats. We had to push them out of the way to get out. It was quite an experience.

Here's me on the other side of the boat. Completely covered up to protect my sunburn from the day before.

This was one of our at sea days. It was INSANELY windy but we wanted to see the sun set while out in the middle of the ocean. It was definitely worth it!

This is us back in Cabo on the water taxi. I loved that we had to wear life jackets but we didn't even snap them on. Something to hold on to if we get thrown overboard...

This was on the second to last night. It was formal night. I squeezed into my Homecoming dress from my Junior year of High School and Robby wore his trusty suit that he has worn since his mission. (He wore it on our wedding day too). This was post meal and towards the end so our bellies were definitely full!

Not the clearest picture, but this was our first night on board. We got semi-dressed up to go to eat. Once we finally find the right head waiter to cater to our Vegan-ness, dining time was probably my favorite. We sat with complete strangers and just talked. I'm pretty shy so it was a very interesting experience but definitely my favorite.

Back in Cabo (we took the most pictures there).

This was the ship right next to ours. I didn't get a close up one of ours, but it was even bigger than this one! :) We were both in awe, seeing as we've never seen a cruise ship in real life before. It was huge! We got on board and looked around and got lost several times. We eventually figured out where we were going, but it took us several days. By the end, we were still finding places we had never been.

A pirate ship that we saw. I thought it was pretty awesome!

On our little water taxi we saw sea lions. We got so close to them, it was pretty sweet. There was a cute little baby in there that they were protecting.

Me on a rock formation, terrified to go any higher.

Robby chillin' on the water taxi in front of our cruise ship. It looks tiny from how far away we were.

Once a gymnast, always a gymnast. Notice my toes are pointed. Doing handstands on the sand is VERY difficult. And gets your hands messy...

Robby at the top of the rock formation that I was too scared to climb up. He had a great time trying to climb down from there.

Our feet in the sand. The water was FREEZING but we got a nice exfoliation on our feet. They were soft for days.
Robby and I enjoying "Lovers Beach" in Cabo.

In the same spot in Cabo. The waves were HUGE behind us.

Like I said, the water was cold. I loved that they caught it on film!

What beach picture album would be complete without the heart around our initials? Robby added the footprints around the outside. Lol.

Back on the water taxi. The rock formations in Cabo were seriously breath taking!

This is Los Arcos. Every few years, the sand raises up here and people get married. Definitely keeping that in mind for a vow renewal... :)

We also went Zip lining in Puerto Vallarta but don't have our pictures for that yet. We had so much fun on this trip. We have never taken a vacation this long and have very rarely gone on a vacation without family or friends so it was a nice change of pace. It felt like no time was passing in the real world and we were just caught in a time warp. If only that were true, we would do this daily! :)

What's in a Name?

2010-03-17T11:27:00.002-07:00

Ever since I was about 15, I have been picking out names for my future children. They have gone from anything and everything! I wanted triplet girls and name them Rylee, Tylee, and Mylee (like that wouldn't be confusing!). I had all of my children have Greek Gods names (we were studying it at the time and I loved it). I planned my children's initials based on the boy I was dating (which changed a little too frequently). Then when I married Robby, I began to plan names "officially" for our future babies.

Now that we are adopting, it seems so close. A name is so permanent (though not according to my parents who decided to legally change my name after I was a few months old). We have been throwing around a few names and Kayla (our awesome expectant mother) suggested to let our friends vote! So that is what we are doing! Leave your vote in the comments and we'll let you know the winner! (Robby does have the FINAL say though). :)

1. Olivia Michelle (nickname Livvy)
I LOVE the name Olivia! I babysat a girl named Olivia and she was my little buddy. She was the most darling thing and I always wanted to name a daughter Olivia. My middle name is Michelle and so it's pretty special to me. :) It was originally my first name but when my parents decided I was not a Michelle, it moved to middle name status. Kayla's littlest sister Kathren LOVES Olivia and I just can't bring myself to break that girls heart!
Downsides- Olivia is SO common right now. My best friend is naming her daughter Olivia and she is due in June. I know I hated having 3 Angela's in my class so I quickly changed to Angee.

2. Michelle Aurora (Ella)
I love the name Ella. It is so sweet. I love that our daughter will have a grown up name (Michelle) and a baby name Ella. Now Aurora is special for a couple reasons. It is from Sleeping Beauty and it means "Goddess of the Dawn." Sleeping Beauty's parents also had infertility problems and named their daughter after the Dawn because "She filled their lives with Sunshine." Michelle means "Gift from God." Kayla's middle name is LeDawn so we would also be naming Baby Girl after Kayla which is very important to me. I see how much Kayla loves her daughter and what better tribute is there than for her to have part of her name with her daughter for forever.
Downside: I can't think of any! :)

So there it is. Please help us vote and let us know your opinions! :)

Best Family Ever

2010-03-13T07:10:00.003-07:00

This is the best family in the entire world. :) This is our expectant mother's family. Kayla is in the pink shirt in the middle. She is surrounded by her 2 brothers and 4 sisters. We are SO in love with this family and couldn't imagine a better family to join with us in an open adoption. They are like a second family to me now and I love them dearly! I always wanted a little sister and now I have a few (and a couple more little brothers)! :) And their mother is seriously the most amazing woman in the world. She told me this last week that she already considers me one of her children. I feel so blessed to be loved by this family and to be able to be linked to them in such a wonderful way! Adoption is truly a wonderful thing!

It's Good to be Green!

2010-03-09T20:55:00.005-07:00

In our quest to be Green, we have started using more Eco-friendly products. We got rid of all of our chemical cleaners and bought safer, nicer smelling, and just as effective "Green" ones. We also got rid of our old shampoos, body washes, and makeup, and traded up. :) I got to trade my old Maybelline makeup for 100% Pure. And after waiting the few days it took to arrive via Fed-Ex, I'm so excited to show it off.

This is the makeup set and few other things I got.

I am totally in love with this box! Does your makeup come like this? Mine never did!

I had to take a picture of the ribbon. It's pink and I'm SO in love with Pink right now. :)

This is the Foundation/Powder. It's so pretty!

This is the concealer and Mascara. The Mascara actually came free with my purchase! How awesome is that? And I didn't have to go to a Department store to get it! :)

The inside of the pretty box! There is lip gloss, 2 eye shadows, Blush, a double sided cream Eyeliner, Mascara, and 2 makeup brushes!

This is the inside of the pretty blush. I love when they stamp the logo in powder. I'm weird, I know.

And this is what I love. The cute little mouse in the corner that says "Cruelty Free." Doesn't he look so happy?

This is just a little more about the company. I love that they re-use packing material from nearby companies! And everything they have is either Vegan or vegetarian if they use honey. They use all food ingredients. It makes me feel good to be helping the environment and helping my face! :)

In other news, HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY to Kayla tomorrow! She's seriously so awesome and hope she has a MAGNIFICENT Birthday!

Baby Girl's Room

2010-03-07T11:42:00.006-07:00

We are working on getting Baby Girl's Room ready for her arrival. So I decided I would post some pictures of the work in progress. :)

This is the curtains in her room. These are the only curtains in the house that Robby actually put up. :) We know that Baby Girl will just be adored by her Daddy so it's pretty fitting.

This is the dresser that Robby and I have been putting together all weekend. I can't even imagine doing it with a 9 month belly so I have some sympathy for all you preggo moms attempting to do this.

These are some of the things we have gathered. The place mat is from Robby's mom. Once we told her how we were decorating, she started collecting. :) The two pictures are from a Gift Bag that I found on Clearance at Target and then the Winnie the Pooh with the heart is a card from my sister from Valentine's day a few years ago.

This is Baby Girl's little pals. It took a little bit of effort to find all of them, but we did and I just love them. Hopefully Baby Girl will love them too!

This is the whole crib with all of her pals. Mickey is in there too but he's sleeping. :)

These are all the bows and flowers that I made last night. I also made the headbands there too. We had a blast and I'm so excited to put these on Baby Girl when she shows up.
This is all the supplies and Ribbon. I'm excited to make more bows when I have spare time. :) Which time is feeling short right now but then I think of how much less I'll have when she arrives.

This is my Beautiful model Zoey. All of us were borrowing her to see if our bows/flowers looked ok. I think that she looks GORGEOUS in this flower/headband I made. And isn't she just the most darling this in the world? (even with the crumbs on her face from snack).

This is the first thing I have bought specifically for Baby Girl. I found it at Hobby Lobby and just couldn't resist. We are SO happy that Baby Girl will soon make her entrance and she will be so loved by so many people! But I don't think anyone's happiness quite compares to her Daddy. This little girl will definitely have Daddy wrapped around her baby finger. :) And I wouldn't want it any other way!